Why should working mothers feel guilty all the time?
I am happy to be a working mother and I hold my head high when I say that I do not miss my daughter when I'm at work.
The other day my friend called me up to tell me about the best thing that has happened to her this year. She had made it into the big league and had got perhaps the best job offer of her life! A six-figure salary, a plump position in one of India's leading tech giants and other perks that would make anyone green with envy.
I was indeed happy for her, but while I was congratulating her for the amazing job, I found out that she did not call me to tell me about the job offer, but something else that was bothering her. To my surprise she was not happy, but a little sad that she would have to join the company to make ends meet.
"You have the offer of your life in your hand, my dear. You should be on the moon not sulking," I told her. "You're right. But I am just worried that a bigger position means bigger responsibilities, more work pressure, more late nights and more time away from home," she replied.
I got it. The motherly guilt was haunting her. She was more worried about leaving her child alone and how she will manage her work and life.
I listened to her for a moment and then asked, "What about your husband? Does he feel guilty too? Does he call you up to ask if his daughter has had her dinner, when he's away on sale tours? Does he manage to attend every single PTM at school? Does he also blame himself for not wishing his child good night every single night?"
"Of course not," she replied. "So why do working mothers have to feel guilty all the time?," I retorted.
While to many my statement would sound harsh and selfish, I would say that I don't have even an iota of shame when I say it. Why do working mothers have to feel guilty every time they are late from office, every time they have to leave the baby with a nanny or an elderly at home and every time they are on a business trip abroad?
Continue reading on the next page to know why working mothers shouldn't feel guilty at all!
I am happy to be a working mother myself and I hold my head high when I say that I do not miss my daughter when I'm at work. There are exceptions, of course, such as whenever she is sick or unwell, but most of the days I enjoy my work and I thrive on the joys that it gives me. Here are my reasons why I never feel gulity of being a working mother:
I go to work every single day as I am passionate about what I do. It makes me a more satisfied and happier person. It gives me a kick to wake up every morning and aim for the stars and do things that I like doing. Besides, I have made so many wonderful friends who are achievers in their own life and every day I have a thing or two to learn from them. We crib, we complain and at the end of it we laugh our struggles off!
My day begins at 6 o' clock every day and from the moment I wake up, I do not waste even a single second in brooding and procrastinating (of course choosing what clothes to wear for work is an exception). Sometimes I manage to have my morning chai and comb my daughter's hair and even pack her lunch box at the same time. I also get ready with her and drop her while on my way to work.
Having a job has not only inculcated discipline in my life, it has made me a brilliant multitasker. Believe me, I have even attended calls while breastfeeding my baby.
Even 15 minutes of my time with my daughter are precious to me and we both make sure that we spend it carefully. This means that we waste no time watching TV together (excluding the weekends) and would rather have a heart-to-heart conversation with her.
Not only do we respect each other's time, we also make sure that we are never late at any family function, gathering or meeting. The best part is, my daughter is imbibing it all at such an early age.
When I became a mother I had taken a sabbatical to enjoy motherhood to the core and also because I didn't want to miss all those beautiful milestones that every baby passes through. However, there were days when I would sulk and just wonder at how time was just flying by. There were also days when I was frustrated of taking care of the baby all the time and would often have tears in my eyes.
Ever since I rejoined work, I noticed that I started to remain happier and calmer than ever before. Not only this, I also learnt how to handle difficult situations in a mature fashion, making sure that I never hurt my daughter in the process. This was because I would be so unhappy to see my little girl sulk wehen her smile was what made me go throughout the day! My heart would cringe whenever I would upset her before leaving for work and I made sure that I never repeated my mistakes again.
And, to all you ladies out there who are haunted by that motherly guilt, I have only one question. Why should working mothers feel guilty all the time, when working dads don't?
Also Read: "Mumma, why can't you stay at home like other mothers"
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