Why my children are not the MOST important in my family
How many times have you told someone that for you, and maybe even for your partner, the most important person is your child?
I think the title of the post has already made you judge me a little – What a horrible thought for a mother! Not thinking of her kids as the most important in her life!
I understand why you may have such a reaction. In fact, a few days back, when I saw a similar article that was shared on a social media group, my first reaction was that something was different here, that the author would make me think. And he sure did.
The post that was shared was originally by a man, who went on to explain how, when his father was asked who was the most important person in their family, answered that it was the couple, and definitely not the kids.
Now that got me thinking.
How many times have you told someone that for you, and maybe even for your partner, the most important person(s) is your child? Or, how many times have you taken decisions for the entire family based on what your child will like, or what your child would want, or simply keeping your child ahead of everyone else?
If you are anything like me, maybe you have already done it, countless times. Without really thinking much about it, without doing it consciously even.
And yes, that does mean that you are a wonderful parent, who is attentive and caring and loving and considerate towards his or her child.
However, I now have my reasons to feel that yes, it may not be that good an idea to always think of my children as being the most important in my family.
Thinking back to my own childhood, I had a beautiful and loving upbringing, and my parents always made sure that both my brother and I were comfortable, with whatever means my parents had. The one thing I realize now is that whatever they did, or decided for the family, was actually something that was ‘conveyed’ to us. We were not asked to be part of that decision-making process, nor were we asked to participate in important family discussions.
Yes, parenting rules, guidelines, and hacks have changed now, and I am a new-age modern day parent too.
Which is why I was wondering, when did my children become so important, or when did they reach that level of maturity that I started making them feel ‘entitled’ to having so much say in what we decide and plan as a family? As children, aren’t they supposed to earn their rewards and rights?
These days, most of us ask our children, and I mean children through all age-ranges, as young as 3 to pre-teens, tweens, and teens, about what they would like to eat, what they want to wear, where they want to go for a vacation, what they want as a gift and so on.
Which obviously makes them feel like the entire world revolves around them - which is where the problem is.
The most important people in any family should be the couple, the parents. It is the parents who make up the family, who are the reason for the kids being around in the first place.
Unless the couple in the family, the parents, feel happy, there can be no happiness for everyone. With so much pressure on keeping everyone healthy, happy and secure, shouldn’t it be us, the parents, who should be the most important in the family? Shouldn’t it be us, the parents, who get the status of the most important parts of the family, the ones who hold everyone and everything together in place, happily? Don't you think?
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