A couple of days ago on AbRam's birthday Shah Rukh Khan’s wife Gauri posted a picture of two of her children Suhana and AbRam on Instagram and captioned it: Gemini Gorgeousness. Presumably referring to the fact that both her younger kids share the same sun sign.
But if you look closely, the lovely picture conveys something more important than just a cute brother-sister pose. The affectionate, almost motherly, cuddle that Suhana shares with her baby brother shows that how a big sister can almost wonderfully nurture a younger kid sibling.
And before you miss, little AbRam’s expressions, he too in the most innocent way seems to be looking blissful in the company of his big sister.
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The emotions displayed in the picture speak volumes on why a big age gap between siblings can actually work well both for kids and the parents. Suhana, who is 17, has a 13-year age gap with her youngest brother AbRam who turned 4 this month.
But both the brother and sister seem to be enjoying their age gaps just fine. On other occasions too both Suhana and elder brother Aryan (19) have been photographed carrying their brother and taking charge of his needs while giving mum Gauri a break.
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Ideal age gap between siblings
The example just busts the common Indian notion that a big gap between kids doesn’t work well and in fact shows that far apart placed kids can actually learn a lot from each other.
So, if you too have an older child and have been thinking that you may have missed the bus to add another baby into your family, think again. There are in fact psychologists’ proven reasons that prove that a big age gap may not be such a bad thing at all. Here are some of them…
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1.Closer together or farther apart: Some of the most common reasons that you may have heard from elders and relatives remain – the kids have each other’s company and can share hand me downs. And while we agree that closer placed kids have an advantage of growing together, the concept of sharing hand me down’s certainly is a too-stretched-for-comfort reason. I mean, who has another child just so as he/she can wear the older ones’ outgrown clothes?
But according to physicians too closer together can be a potential health risk both for mum and baby. A woman’s body needs sufficient time to recover from first pregnancy. According to some researchers getting pregnant within the next couple of years may make you more susceptible to prenatal anemia. Apart from the fact that exhaustion and sleeplessness a new baby brings along may get aggravated if you have another one even before you have sufficiently rested after one marathon baby rearing inning.
2. A newer outlook: According to some researchers once the memories of diaper duties, potty training, failing feeding sessions are sufficiently behind you, one may be in a better stead to take up the role of nursing a small baby once again. Also often when you have kids closer together you are torn between finding time for each of their needs because they have similar demands.
An older sibling can work as a savior in such situations. Ask any mother who has the luxury of sending her toddler to the park with a teenaged sibling while she can cook dinner in peace and you will know what we mean. Also having brought up one kid you gather enough ammunition to learn from your mistakes and would likely know short cuts to solve each toddler problem.
3. Sibling rivalry turns into revelry: Kids closer to each other often suffer from sibling rivalry, feeling of jealousy and competitiveness. Instead, when you already have a grown up at home he/she is more likely to feel the same motherly emotion that you feel for the newborn.
Older kids are more mature and do not feel threatened by having another kid in the family on whom the attention would automatically be diverted instead they often become part of the process and help unload parents’ responsibilities.
4. More quality time: Having two kids in different age groups also means you are able to give more quality time to the younger one. With no playgroups to arrange while you nurse your toddler means you have more story reading, visiting the park or even just plain cuddling time with the baby. Your older kids can in fact join you in reading or singing to the baby.
5. Career wise: Some women find it easier to go back to their career after the first baby and then waiting few years to establish themselves before becoming a parent again. By taking the second break slightly ahead in your career you may have built up your way up and it’s easier for you to make a come back at a senior level.
However, taking one long haul for some results in a pause in the career and returning back at a certain age to start the drill once more can be less than gratifying. However a lot of it also depends on the profession and the level you were at when you took your first break.
6. Health Alert: However apart from the societal and professional reasons the doctors suggest you to analyze your health condition to determine how long you can really wait to have your baby. Older age pregnancies sometimes result in more complications so while it may be worthwhile to wait a few years before baby number 2 always seek a doctors counsel to determine what may work best for you.
Also Read: Shah Rukh Khan's family comes together for the first ever family picture!
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[All images courtesy: Instagram]