4 ways I stopped my marriage from breaking apart
My husband and I have spent 22 years mostly and mainly in each other’s company, and that is more than half of our total life! But we were growing apart...
I had a love marriage, and it has been 15 years now that we are married. Before that, we dated for about 5 years and were friends for 2 years before that.
This means that my husband and I have spent 22 years mostly and mainly in each other’s company, and that is more than half of our total life!
While this is a good thing and can mean that we are madly in love with each other and understand each other like no one else does, it also means that there came a time, when we felt there was nothing more left to do with each other.
To be honest, our marriage hit a rough patch after our baby was born, and by the time I was pregnant with my second baby, we already knew things were not right between us.
I hated the feeling of not being in love anymore, of not feeling the need to be with my partner. I missed him in a way, but then again, I was not sure how to get things right. I knew my partner missed me too, but it was just that we had stopped expressing ourselves with each other the way we did at one point of time.
Then there came a point when our kids and jobs took over all our time, and we were too happily busy to be worried anymore. Not behaving like a couple seemed normal, but it was making me unhappy.
I knew I had to do something
Here are a few things I started doing slowly in my relationship again, and let me tell you, things have improved way more than earlier. Today, we may not be like a teen couple in love, but we definitely cannot live without each other anymore and want to spend all our free time together – just like earlier.
Today, we may not be like a teen couple in love, but we definitely cannot live without each other anymore and want to spend all our free time together – just like earlier.
1. Hugging: It may be just a hug, but it can immediately tell your partner that he or she is important and makes them feel needed. I started by hugging my partner the moment I would walk in the door, or he would return home. And also, anytime in the day that I felt like.
2. Sleeping together: This is difficult when you have kids, but I have started making the kids sleep in their room at least 2 days in a week, if not more. We are not yet that comfortable with sex, as we are still working on the relationship, but hugging and sleeping in each other’s arms can give you a sense of love and security like nothing else can.
3. Appreciate: Saying things such as ‘thank you’ and ‘that shirt/dress really suits you’ or ‘I love that colour you are wearing’ or even something such as ‘I loved the cup of tea you made me that day’ can make your partner’s day.
4. Shower together: Taking a shower together, even if it is a 5-minute thing, can help you both get comfortable with your own bodies and slowly move towards the physical intimacy that may be lacking in the relationship. If there are kids in the house, you can always sneak in the shower and come out, or take a late night bath.