Most of us have that one tricky relative who is often difficult to handle. It could be a haughty uncle, a cousin who keeps borrowing money, an overbearing mother-in-law or a cold sister-in-law.
Either way, difficult relatives can add drama and spice into our lives. But they can also cause anger, anxiety, resentment and hurt feelings.
And while we can’t call them ‘uncaring’ on their faces, the fact is that our relationship with them requires delicate handling.
This is especially true when it comes to in-laws.
Since we have not known them our entire lives and their way of doing things is different from ours, the bond is more fragile.
But if you are a daughter-in-law and want to really know the family, the best person to help you with this job is your husband’s sibling. A sister-in-law could be your best friend when it comes to mingling with the husband’s family.
But that does not mean that all of them would be open to this friendship. You might have to work your way around it and befriend her, if she hasn’t done so herself.
So here are a few things that I personally did to befriend my husband’s elder sister. And trust me, we are closer than we were when I first got married.
#1 Treat her like a good friend
I know that this sounds very difficult, but if you take things slow, you can actually do this easily. I started by increasing my calls to her, even if they were for just 5 or 10 mins each. This helped us connect better and share more.
We also went out shopping when I visited them in Delhi early this year. And since it’s my domain, we exchanged some ideas and made a day of it.
#2 Don’t badmouth her, especially in front of your husband
When you badmouth your husband’s kin, it will simply result in a bad fight and further aggravate the situation. I must admit, it can be quite difficult if you have unresolved issues with her. But my best solution to this problem was to pause.
Just pause for a second when you are about to say something uncalled for. Understand that the other person is family to your husband. And by disrespecting her, you are also disrespecting him. She is still his sister.
So try to be gracious and forgiving, even if in the situation you are right.
Continue reading to know how I befriended my sister-in-law with the fourth step.
#3 Remember that she loves your husband
You know your husband for a few years, but she has known him since his birth. She might not be his first priority, but it doesn’t mean that his brotherly love for her has disappeared.
In all probability, she loves him and wants only the best for him. So just give her a break and encourage your husband to spend sometime with his sister. This will certainly not displace your position in your husband’s heart.
#4 Show some gratitude when she gets it right
She may not be your best friend, but if she does something for you out of love, verbally appreciate her. She might even help you babysit or gift you a saree on your birthday. Even if they are small gestures, you can always thank her.
When you do this, it will make her want to help you out even more. Plus, you will also feel a greater connect with her and appreciation for her gestures.
#5 Avoid being too intimate
While so far you read that being her friend is a great thing, remember too much closeness is not good either. There would be things that you would only want to share with your friends and not her. So don’t share them just so you can befriend her.
This will only give her an opportunity to judge you and not mend your bond. Its best to maintain some distance and appreciate her for who she is from afar.
Read: Supreme Court: Daughters-in-law should be treated as family and not housemaids
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(Image courtesy: IBN)
