For the past couple of decades, middle-class working mothers in our country have slowly and silently proved that it is possible to balance work life with home. In doing so, they have broken the glass ceiling and become leaders in male dominated fields like finance, technology and even filmmaking.
But this feat has been made possible because of two very important reasons:
- The first is the support of an extended family, which includes in-laws and parents
- The second support system is that of cheap household labour
While some of you may not have either, let's not forget that the majority of women who do have this support system surprisingly credit them for this balance, as opposed to their own husbands.
Mother-in-law: The first pillar of strength
In India, a majority of women have found support in their mothers-in-law and scaled corporate heights that would have been impossible to scale even for women in the West.
This means that while most of us crib about our mothers-in-law who are often shown on the telly as scheming and conniving, it is these women who actually shoulder the responsibility of creating world leaders. Take for instance, Naina Lal Kidwai, who retired in 2015 as chairman of HSBC India.
She credits her success to her mother-in-law who took care of her house and her kids, while Kidwai went to work. In her book titled 30 Women in Power, Kidwai wrote, “I think that it’s easier for us to succeed as working women in India than it is for many of our female counterparts in other parts of the world. After all, in India we have the distinct advantage of an extended family of mothers, sisters and in-laws, and house help.”
“I have to admit, in those critical early stages of motherhood when relying on any and every manner of support becomes a survival strategy, I had assistance close at hand. My mother-in-law would come join us at short notice and my mother and sister, even friends, would pitch in,” she continued.
While an active mother-in-law who is willing to pitch in and help her daughter-in-law is now more a reality than a norm, another pillar of support is our Man Friday- the bai.
Continue reading to know more about the other reason behind the success of an Indian working woman.
Household help: The other pillar of strength
Studies have shown that most Indian men are lousy with household work and would rather hire a help than pitch in themselves. This allows us to hire our beloved friend in need, the bai.
In most Indian cities, we can hire a bai for as little as Rs 600 per work (washing or cleaning) and more if we want to hire them for cooking and/or as ayah. Kidwai explains this as well.
In her book she writes, "And then, there was support and care from that great institution in India—the ayah."
“I was fortunate to have Janki—who had brought up my sister and me as kids—come back to keep an eye on our daughter, Kemaya, as she grew up.”
While we go to work, our maids help us with tasks such as cooking, cleaning, washing the dishes, doing the laundry, driving the employer to work or taking care of our kids. This increases our dependency on them, but also makes it easy for us women to carry out our professional commitments without any major hurdles.
After all, studies have proved that around 48 percent Indian women quit their jobs mid-career on account of motherhood or elder care. These startling numbers even in the 21st century make it more important for us to depend on these two lifelines as much as we can.
After all, the women in this piece are the ones who asked for help when they needed it the most. And their success is a clear indication that if you need it, do not hesitate to ask for it.
I surely will.
Read: Why I am happy to leave my daughter at the daycare
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