Arjun Kapoor was only 11 when his father, producer Boney Kapoor left his mother to marry popular actor Sridevi. At the time, this controversial marriage led to many calling Sridevi a home-wrecker.
This move also left the two kids Arjun and his younger sister Anshula devastated and the family did not accept Sridevi. Since their mother Mona was close to her in-laws, she stayed with them along with the kids till her death in 2012.
Since then actor Arjun Kapoor has reiterated that he has no relations with his father's wife Sridevi or his stepsisters Khushi and Janvi. And now he recently opened up about his mother and sister in an emotional tell-all.
"There's no respite from the death of a mother"
The Ki and Ka actor spoke to a leading daily and asked, "How do I reconcile with the fact that she's not here to see that I have created an independent identity for myself, that I run a house, that I've grown up to become everything she wanted me to become? For all the sacrifices she has made for me, there is something as payback which sits here right now as I speak to you. I would have liked her to see that."
"I wish I was in a position where I could tell her that I have managed to make you proud, Ma. There's no respite from the death of a mother," he said adding, "I have lived my life balancing without a backbone for the last 5 years."
He also shared that during the time when his father was making memories with his new family, it was his sister who helped him get through the trauma.
"Anshula, has stood by me like a rock"
Talking about his strongest support, Arjun says that it has been none other than his younger sister, Anshula.
"My sister, Anshula, has stood by me like a rock. She has gone through far worse. She's younger than me. I still had 11 years with my father living in the house. I had my mother living with me for 25 years but she only got 20. Imagine a child who has been through a life where the father couldn't be physically around all the time after the age of 5. And the mother who was there physically all the time and then after 20 years, she wasn't there. Imagine the psychological scarring of that child. She's still more mature, very well-educated, honest and more sincere than me," he said.
No relationship with stepmum Sridevi's daughters
He also clarified that even though his family has warmed upto Sridevi, he has no relations with her or her daughters Khushi and Janvi.
"We don't really meet and spend time together so it (relationship) doesn't really exist," shared Arjun.
In this explosive and emotional interview Arjun Kapoor shared that his father's second marriage was traumatic for him and his younger sister. But that's the only thing that can happen to kids of broken marriage.
How broken marriages affect children
We spoke to Anuja Kapur, a Delhi-based clinical psychologist who explains, "The revolution in sexual relationships is wrecking children's lives as well as those of adults. It can greatly affect child development and emotional health. Children don't just sail through parental conflict, separation, divorce, and remarriage. There are lasting consequences. Children are affected by single parenting and step-parenting turn out to be no substitute for a missing father or mother. Children feel that living in an unhappy marriage may be far better for them than separation or divorce."
She adds that this situation breaks the children both emotionally and physically.
- Children from broken families have problems with emotional and physical health behaviour and attainment at school
- They suffer from low self-esteem and have difficulties in friendships
- They suffer from stress related health problems such as headaches, bed-wetting, stomach aches, feeling sick
- Not wanting to go to school
- Just "feeling miserable"
So how does one deal with this problem?
Well, Kapur suggests, "Such people must wait 2-3 years following divorce or the death of your spouse before seriously dating. Date two years before deciding to marry; then date their children before the wedding. Know how to “cook” (or make) a stepfamily and realise that the “honeymoon” comes at the end of the journey for remarried couples, not the beginning."
Read: Effects of remarriage on children. Is it safe for your child?
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(All images courtesy: Instagram)
