12 signs of a troubled marriage! Is yours safe?

Think your marriage is on the way to the gallows? Recognise the signs of a failing marriage

Is your marriage failing?

The city of Beijing is witnessing a lot of failing marriages and social media is responsible for it, say experts. According to sources, China has been witnessing a steady rise in divorce cases and most of these are a result of extra marital affairs, initiated on the Internet. And closer home, the reason could well be the same.

If you've been doubting the durability of your marriage, we would want you to check this out. We've listed few signs of a failing marriage and also added expert advice on how you can try and save it, before throwing in the towel.

You have nothing in common

You've been living as a unit under the same roof, yet don't feel each other's existence. Meaningful conversations have reduced to 'it's sunny today' and spending time as a couple has become a thing of the past. No attempts are made to connect either. From friends to food, if you feel you two have suddenly drifted interests, it one of the biggest signs of a failing marriage.

You fight and argue all the time

Fighting about everything has become a regular feature and it involves a heavy dose of sarcasm and nitpicking. What's more, you've been noticing that you criticise each other for even the tiniest of the things and neither want to stop the shouting match.

You're no longer in the loop

You come to know about your husband's promotion from a common friend and such instances have become a common affair. You feel a web of secrecy and lies, which often occupies your head. Keeping a spouse out of the loop is a serious issue and is definitely one of the signs of a failing marriage.

You can smell cheating

Have you noticed your spouse being increasingly secretive about his online rendezvous with friends from the opposite sex? Infidelity and flirting is one of the greatest signs of a failing marriage. Nowadays, easy access to social media and dating websites, has made having affairs simpler. However, cheating is something that can't be forgiven or forgotten easily.

You no longer care

You have no interest in investing your time or energy in your marriage as you see no future. You feel indifferent every time someone suggests that you two should make it work and the idea of being away from your partner makes you feel somewhat relieved. These feelings have been occurring too often for comfort.

You feel like you're walking on eggshells

Celebrating each one's individuality is important in a relationship. But if you feel you have to walk on eggshells around your spouse each every time to avoid an explosive situation, you may have a breakdown yourself sooner or later.

Loss of trust

Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship. When a partner can't trust the other with even simple things in life, it's one of the sure red flag of a failing marriage.

You cannot reach a compromise

Marriage is a constant teamwork that requires both sides to communicate, contribute and compromise equally. If your partner has become increasingly selfish, demanding and has nothing in return to offer, then your relationship is probably headed for the gallows.

There is abuse in the relationship

If the interactions you have been having lately with your spouse have episodes of physical and verbal abuse, it is surely one of the glaring signs of a failing marriage. A relationship affected by abuse needs serious and immediate action from dire consequences.

There's no physical intimacy

It's been cold between the sheets for a long time now. Avoiding sex or displays of affection and giving unwarranted excuses each time for the same could mean your marriage is in trouble.

Addiction

Your spouse is in love, but with his/her addiction! Drugs, alcohol, pornography, online dating or gambling addictions can severely sabotage a marriage. Other family members and children also get affected making the environment at home tense and unhealthy.

Can a marriage be fixed?

A bad relationship can make you bitter, but before shouting out a divorce, you should look back into these signs and make a sincere effort to make things work out.

"It's difficult, but not impossible to save a crumbling marriage," says Hemangi Kulkarni Naik, social counsellor at Harmony Center, Navi Mumbai. To revive a healthy communication between you two, Naik lists down some primary steps:

Have an intention and belief in the power of relationships Switch off the TV or the mobile and ventilate your feelings constructively Seek help. You can consult a psychiatrist, counsellor or a sexologist. “Some couples need patience and prolonged therapy under a counsellor or a psychiatrist; especially those whose marriages are on the edge due to delicate issues like substance abuse or an autistic child,” says Naik. Deal with your traumatic pre-marital experiences as yourself, without blaming your partner for it. Be kind and sensitive to the needs of the other.

Slowly, yet positively, show proactiveness, as actions speak louder than words. If couples can make sincere attempts to mend a breaking marriage, the bond between the partners may emerge out to be stronger than before.

Preeti Athri

Relationships