Why Being a Stay-at-home-mum Doesn't Mean You're Just a Housekeeper
"Going to work and paying the bills does not exclude you from parenting and household duties."
I just want to address something that has been heavy on my heart lately… When my husband and I decided I should be a stay-at-home mom, we agreed that that’s what I would be, a MOM. I am not a stay-at-home housekeeper. Should stay at home moms do all the housework??
Yes, I clean throughout the day, but my main focus will always be my children.
This house is OURS not just mine. These children are OURS not just mine.
I refuse for them to remember me just cleaning all the time and I refuse to teach my children that the household duties fall on the mother’s shoulders alone. I stay at home to be present in their lives, not to make sure my house is spotless at a moment’s notice. If they want to play a game, I’m going to play. If they want me to snuggle, darn right I’m going to snuggle. If they want to color, we’re going to make a masterpiece to hang proudly on the fridge. If they want to read a book, I’m going to read that book as many times as they want. I am by no means saying that you should let your house turn into a dump, but I feel like so many men just expect the house to be spotless just because their wives stay at home.
We as mothers do not give up careers, adult interaction, a paycheck, and sanity to ensure that the house shines like the top of the Chrysler building when our husbands walk through the door, and I feel pretty confident in saying that many of us are way more stressed about the mess than you are.
Instead of talking down to your wife for the crumbs on the floor, pick up a broom.
Being a stay at home mom is hands down the best gift I have ever been given, but it’s also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
I thank my husband multiple times a day for making this possible, for working his butt off to provide for our family. I have never expected him to come home after a long day and clean the entire house by himself. I don’t expect him to wake up for every single nighttime feeding during the newborn stages. I have never expected him to come home and do the overflowing pile of dishes,; I know that I can do them with the kids the next day. But I am thankful to not fear his reaction if the house isn’t pristine.
I am thankful to have a partner who understands what it means to be a team player and will do all of those things without giving it a second thought.
Going to work and paying the bills does not exclude you from parenting and household duties.
So husbands, if you’re reading this, thank your amazing wives for giving up everything to raise those beautiful babies you made together, and wives, thank those hubbies for making staying home possible and please remember, the mess can wait.