8 things dads-to-be must know about sex during pregnancy
Sex during pregnancy need not be a myth if you follow these points. Mums-to-be, share it with your partners, and dads-to-be, pay attention for once
Yay, you are going to be a dad! Congratulations on the new role. Oh wait, before you get there, you need to play the part of the ‘husband-of-a-pregnant-woman’ well. And there await the brickbats (in rare cases, bouquets too).
So what is such a big deal about pregnancy? You must be wondering what kind of a father you’d make. Will your partner be the perfect mum to your little one? Will life remain unchanged once the baby arrives? Errr… well, life has already changed.
Of course it does. Pregnancy isn’t just about the woman carrying a baby in her womb for nine long-winding months. It’s about the myriad factors that make those nine-months, at times a pleasurable and at times a painful experience.
If, as a dad-to-be, you are rolling your eyes already, I suggest, at least glance through this post for the sake of your wellbeing, for your sex-life will change. And if you are sensitive enough, you will not really wait for the danger zone to light up before looking for some helpful pointers on dealing with the pregnant wife.
Funnily enough, your partner being pregnant doesn’t necessarily mean that only she will go through weird emotions. For some men, sex during pregnancy is an unbelievable turn-on, whereas for others they may just not want to venture in that territory. The reasons could range from a ‘moody’ wife to doubts about the baby’s safety. Read on for the 8 basic things about sex during pregnancy that every dad-to-be must know of:
Don’t assume that she doesn’t want sex. Some pregnant women are more in the zone than ever during pregnancy. Obviously, they can get away with it by blaming the crazy hormones. Every inch of her body is sensitive during pregnancy. And being sensitive doesn’t necessarily mean ‘in pain’. It could also mean that she is ready for sex, even more than you. So try and look less surprised as she turns on her irresistible charm and gets you in that zone too.
Don’t assume that she will want sex. No, the intention is not to confuse the daylight out of you. But this is how women are designed. So today, she may want it, and tomorrow she may not. Pregnancy is a tough phase for them as the hormones really do seem to have a mind of their own.
When she says she is tired, she probably is. Mums and mums-to-be, I apologise for what I intend to say now to the dads-to-be, but this is perhaps the only way I can explain it to the men: So, dads-to-be, remember the last time you made biryani from scratch? Remember how tired you were after the strenuous, long process? Well, your wife is in the process of making a full-fledged baby from the scratch and it will probably take way longer than a few hours. What say? Those extra doses of progesterone in her blood makes her super-sluggish and sleepy. And don't forget the nausea she's probably battling. I rest my case.
Your baby won't get hurt. Your manhood won’t come in contact with the baby. Nope. He is safely cocooned in the fluid-filled amniotic sac in your wife’s womb. And no, the baby won’t know what mischief his parents were up to either. The little one may at the most sense that his mum is perhaps taking a brisk walk.
Try your luck in the second trimester… unless of course your wife wants it all through the three trimesters. So the thing with the second trimester is that your partner’s libido, which had gone for a toss courtesy pregnancy anxiety, morning sickness and the works, is back in action. And it’s that time when she still has the energy for those divine night romps. So after the first trimester ends and before the third one begins, go for that much recommended babymoon, especially since this is also the period when she can travel without any hitch.
Her favourite position may not be her favourite any more. As pregnancy progresses, the woman’s body changes and her once beloved position during sex may not even be feasible, forget comfortable. Get creative with the positions and ensure that weight is not exerted on the abdomen. Or be prepared to be kicked right where it hurts, as during pregnancy, she is already carrying enough weight of her own.
Keep the natural ‘scent of a man’ at bay. Basically, remain odour-free at all times. Thanks to the extra estrogen circulating in her body, your wife could even replace a trained police dog. Any smell can trigger the puke button in her and YOU don’t want to be one of those, especially when you’ve managed to bag space on her bed. Stink up the place and forget sex. For a long long time.
Sometimes, she just wants to hear that she’s beautiful… even with those extra kilos and that funny walk. Yup! Believe me when I say this, sometimes all that’s stopping her from making the move is her own body image. She feels she doesn’t look good enough for a night of passion. So, go all out and make her feel special. Convince her that she looks beautiful, no matter what. And why not? What’s not beautiful about a shiny, gorgeous mane, a tummy full with your baby, and an overall voluptuous body?
Just be glad that you are able to hold-up a sane head that functions on a body that’s not carrying another human being. as an aside, while sex is perfectly safe during most healthy pregnancies, there are some circumstances that may require restraint and your doctor will be the best person to advice about such instances.
Till then, know when a ‘no’ means a ‘no’ and give priorities to the whims and fancies of that person carrying your bundle of joy in her womb.
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