My littlest love,
I've been reading a lot of articles these days about how the second-born child is usually a trouble maker. One article even insinuated that they have a greater likelihood of ending up as criminals as adults.
These stories made me sad and angry, but got me thinking at the same time. What such stories do is create stereotypes.
Stereotyping is a dangerous thing. It places a burden on the stereotyped person that they have to shoulder forever. And this is not what I want for you, my second-born son, because very simply, you are your own person, not a clone of who society wants you to be.
You are my littlest one. And here is what I have to say to you.
First, I am sorry that I haven't been able to give you as much attention as I gave your brother when he was a baby. When you came along, he was just two and a half years old you see, and so, my attention had to be divided. I could never have alone time with you without having your older brother toddle in at some point, also wanting me.
So, I understand that in your life of all of five years, you've had to make some noise to get my attention. You did it as a baby and you still do - and I understand why you do this.
It is not because you are a little trouble maker, it's only because you want my love. I know this because the moment I acknowledge you, give you a hug or a kiss, or even chastise you, you stop your antics and a look of relief is briefly reflected in your eyes. Okay, she still loves me, she noticed me and she’s still my mummy, is what that look says.
Your traits are certainly not those of a future criminal.
You are independent and mature for your age. You can be kind, consideration, loving and helpful. You are also cheeky, loud and assertive. These are not qualities that will land you in jail. They will, instead, help you get far in this competitive world we live in, with the correct guidance and nurturing.
You are your own person - I repeat this because this sentence carries so much weight.
You should not be moulded into who you are, who you will be some day, by what the world thinks. You were once part of me and now, at the tender age of five, you are your own entity. I know that some of the quirky, fierce little traits you display are what you were born with. They are your second-born traits, enhanced and intensified by your Dragon blood. But this is where the stereotyping stops.
You see, I will give you the freedom to develop your personality and qualities as you see fit. But you also have my promise that I will always gently guide and advise you, always.
And some day, little boy, you will shatter those stereotypes attached to your birth status and show the world that second-born children are born second to none.
Republished with permission from theAsianParent Singapore
