Former beauty queen and actor Sangeeta Bijlani has been out of the limelight for quite sometime now. She's been keeping a low profile away from shutterbugs, and it seems has finally found her calling and it has nothing to do with movies!
The actress who divorced former cricketer Mohammad Azharuddin after 14 years for alleged infidelity, has now become a blogger. And she is not afraid to talk about controversial matters of the heart including guy friends and extra-marital affairs.
This is strangely controversial because she filed for divorce from ex-husband Azharuddin after reports of his alleged affair with a badminton player surfaced.
Her recent blog post about infidelity has already gone viral and is sounding off an alarm among industry goers. Why, you ask? Well, because the examples she quoted in her blog named Bijli Strikes seem eerily similar to real life Bollywood couples.
The saga of Pati, Patni aur Woh!
Titled Married...But not in the marriage, Bijlani begins her post by commenting on the difficulty of 'modern marriages.'
"Life and marriage don’t workout like they do in the movies. Modern life conspires to make marriage harder than ever. This leads us to today’s model, self-expressive marriage, wherein the average modern married person is looking not only for love from their spouse but for a sense of personal fulfilment...People are not just looking for intense, physical and emotional connections with their partners but also economic stability, family values, societal acceptance and all traditional marriage related factors," she begins.
She then moves on to talk about extra marital affairs.
"Even if one does have all almost all of the above in a partner, one still finds people seeking for something outside of their marriage. And then you hear those three words ……………E-X-T-R-A…M-A-R-I-T-A-L…A-F-F-A-I-R…….and the saga of Pati, Patni aur WOH ! continues…," she adds.
"No marriage is immune from affairs"
Bijlani then moves on to quote three examples of extra marital affairs and explains, "The woman could be everything wonderful and the man may still stray. The old saying “keep-your-husband-happy-so-he-won’t-stray” puts too much burden on a woman. I do feel that people can create a pattern in marriage that is not enhancing, and the man instead of dealing with the dissatisfaction and complex within himself and trying to work on the relationship, escapes it and goes some place else to feel better about himself."
She ends the blog by concluding that marriages can survive extra marital affairs if couples forgive each other.
"No marriage is immune from affairs. Most couples survive the affair rather than end up in a divorce. In spite of extra marital issues it is possible for marriages to survive and grow stronger when the coupe deals with it constructively by facing it, apologising and ultimately forgiving," concludes the 51-year-old who has been single for quite sometime.
Although Bijlani's blog includes examples that read like affairs Bijlani may herself have witnessed, she does have a point. One can save a marriage even after a dalliance. And there is a lot to take from her post.
3 ways you can save your marriage
- What went wrong? Yes, you read that right. You won't be able to move forward till you understand what went wrong. Most of us have flaws and sometimes it is because of these flaws that a healthy relationship suffers. So look for the root of the problem. Is it incompatibility, infidelity, violence, abuse, monetary or sex; look for the probable issue.
- Is it fixable? Once you've identified the root cause of your marital problem, look for its solution. Ask yourself if it's fixable and if so, look for the answer within. Remember to never be accusatory if you want that relationship to work. And seek help if you cannot come to a conclusion yourself.
- Are you able to put the pieces back? Once you have had 'the' discussion, bring yourself to put the broken pieces back into the puzzle. Speak your mind and see what work can be done to salvage the relationship. After all, it's all about communication.
Read: 5 ways to make your marriage divorce proof
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[All images courtesy: Instagram]
