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Bengaluru's shame: Why we must teach our boys to respect women from early on

4 Jan, 2017
Bengaluru's shame: Why we must teach our boys to respect women from early onBengaluru's shame: Why we must teach our boys to respect women from early on

After the New Year eve's incident of mass molestation, another video of a young girl being sexually molested in Bengaluru on the same night has shocked the nation

On December 31, as the clock struck 12, women across the world celebrated the arrival of a new year. But for those in India, the revelry soon turned into a nightmare.

As midnight celebrations began, women and young girls were allegedly groped, molested and sexually harassed in Bengaluru's downtown area. Incidentally, all of this was caught on tape and shown repeatedly on various media channels.

In fact, one could see the girls crying and breaking down, some even on the shoulders of female constables who were among the 1,600 policemen already present on road.

Politicians blame 'western outfits'

While the incident attracted nationwide condemnation, some politicians, as usual, blamed the girls and 'copying' of the West.

In a shocking statement, Samajwadi Party MLA Abu Asim Azmi, blamed 'western attires' for such incidents. “It was bound to happen. Woman call nudity fashion. They were wearing short dresses. Women must step out with family. It won’t be right for my sister or daughter to go out at night without male members of the family,” he reportedly told the media.

Karnataka's Home Minister G Parmeshwara, on the other hand, also added fuel to the fire by reportedly stating that such incidents 'happen.' "Such incidents do happen on New Year day and on Christmas. We take a lot of precautions," he stated.

Sadly, after three days of the incident the First Information Report or FIR was filed by the police; and just when the police found 'enough evidence' to nab the culprits, another shocking video made its way to media channels.

This one shows a woman being molested openly by two men whom follow he into a lane and harass her just metres away from her home.

Another shocker hits the news

In the graphic video footage, you can see a girl getting of an auto and then two men in a scooter follow her into a lane. One of the men gets off the scooter and grabs the girl, kisses her and molests her.

He then forces her towards the scooter puts her on it, but she falls down on the ground and the two men run away.

Shockingly, all this happened in front of eye-witnesses who did nothing but stand there and look on, as the girl was molested.

Even though the culprits have been caught on camera, they are still at large and have once again proved how unsafe India has become for girls. If a city like Bengaluru, which is known for being a safe city, cannot provide safety to its women, we wonder which place is safe for an Indian girl. Is it largely because of how we are raising our sons?

Some real mums answered this question and their responses may shock you!

Continue reading to see what mums had to say about these horrific incidents. 

Real mums speak out

While this incident has shocked many of us, it is the mums who have been affected the most, especially those of girls. We asked them what they thought of it and how they planned to keep their girls safe and this is how they responded (on request of anonymity).

While most of agreed that children, whether a girl or a boy need to be taught to respect another human being, many were of the view that boys must be conditioned to work extra hard on being respectful of women around them.

Boys don't know about equality

Meena Sachdev* said, "We must teach your boys about equality as well as the importance of space and dignity of every individual, more so girls. On the other hand, teach your girls self defense and make them independent and strong to take on ruthless men like these. Its also very important for girls and boys to realise, to drink in limits and to drink within a trusted circle of friends. Avoid crowded places on busy days like these as far as possible. After all new years or similar, is to celebrate with closed friends and family."

copy-harassment

Boys are not taught how to behave around women

Another mum Shritija Mohan* said that many Indian men do not know how to behave around women.

"Teach your children to respect others. I believe parents are responsible for sowing the first seeds of values. Children will replicate how the parents behave with others and their respective spouses. Also, in India, majority of these youth or men don't know how to be around women and how to behave. They have either not been taught or they don't consider women to be of their level. The belief that "they can" makes them attempt," she says. 

Girls will have to be more cautious

Another Bengaluru resident, Vandana Anil Dass, shared a personal incident and emphasised on the importance of being a good judge, especially during such days.

She said, "Unfortunately, this is common in many places, including western countries. There are festivals and carnivals, where people get drunk and dance, and in some places, even take off their clothes. Since women there are more equipped to take care of themselves, it is not made a big issue."

"Port Harcourt, Nigeria is a very safe place for women, I was there for three months. Near the hotel where I stayed, call girls will be standing in the evenings, and will be having normal conversations with the people around...they'll go with their customers...but apart from that, no one will bother them. During December, they have a carnival, which I thought I would want to go to...couple of my colleagues recommended not to go there...they gave a reason that people get drunk, they dance and remove their clothes, you don't have control over their behaviour. I decided not to go," she said.

She however, added, "In my opinion, cases like NYE and the one in the street can not be considered similar. Yes, in both cases, the girls were molested; one in public view, openly, in a place where this, in my opinion, would be more than welcome if Shahrukh or Salman had to do it. Whereas, the one in the street was uncalled for and shows the criminal mentality of the culprits and helplessness of the victim.

Let's teach our boys to respect women

While this incident of mass molestation had shocked the nation, it has also highlighted the fact that no place is safe for our women.

As an eye witness pointed out, "Whenever a woman passed the molesters groped and pawed them, taking advantage of the intense crowd...You can fight back one or two people but how do you fight a crowd," she said, adding that men were "intentionally" targeting all the women. She added that it was a "mass molestation."

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This incident also brings back the haunting question of how freedom is healthy, both, for girls and boys; and why it is important for every human being to respect the other. You decide!

Read: 5 simple tips to protect your child from sexual abuse 

If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the article, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ and Twitter to stay up-to-date on the latest from theIndusparent.com

[*Names have been changed | All images courtesy: Youtube, Pixabay]

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Deepshikha Punj

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