Raashami Desai reveals SHOCKING details about her abusive marriage to Nandish
"In a marriage, I know it’s two people’s responsibility – but my relationship was always abusive," says Raashami Desai in a shocking tell-all.
Many of you know her as 'Tapasya' from the popular daily soap Uttaran. But Raashami Desai is more than just a bubbly television actor.
She not only managed to prove her mettle as an artist onscreen but also proved herself to be a fighter and a survivor offscreen. Yes, you read that right!
Soon after her marriage to fellow co-actor Nandish Sandhu in 2012, Desai and her hubby were hailed as telly's 'it' couple. They complimented each other well and often appeared together for events looking happy. It seemed as though everything in their lives was perfect.
But the truth of their marriage was far from it.
Desai and Sandhu divorced after just three years of marriage but after an ugly battle of blame game. And while the Uttaran actor never shared her ordeal with anybody, she has finally opened up on exactly what happened to her in her three-year marriage.
While speaking to a daily Desai said, "I’ve never felt the need to explain myself or my relationship to anyone – but there are all sorts of rumours that pin point me and claim that Nandish is completely innocent. In a marriage, I know it’s two people’s responsibility – but my relationship was always abusive."
The actor who is currently seen on the show Dil Se Dil Tak added that the PR firm handling her ex-husband's work was spreading one-sided rumours against her.
"India Forums is making it super ugly. They’re only printing one-sided articles about him giving his 100%, when it’s just not true. What are you trying to prove? It’s false information. We’ve had problems for three years now. Why did I leave the house? I’ve never spoken about this – but mujhe humesha ghar se nikala jaataa (I was always thrown out of the house)! If he gave his 100% yeh cheezein hoti hi nahi na (all these things would never have happened)," says the 30-year-old.
She also stated that while she does admit there was abuse in the relationship, she doesn't want to elaborate on its nature.
"I don’t want to say anything in particular, but jo samajhne wale hain woh samajh jaenge (people who can understand, will do)," she said.
Desai further stated that what her shocked her most was the disrespect subjected towards her.
"I genuinely loved him. And I genuinely believe that a relationship needs to be built. And if you can’t continue, then it’s important to end it on a beautiful note...I’ve never seen things like this happening in my household. Women are never insulted. But I was disrespected for over 3 years and after a point, I knew this was just not happening. I thought after this, tum apne raaste jaao, main apne (you go your way, I'll go mine). But something else was only happening is why I decided to speak up," revealed Desai.
Unfortunately she is not the first television personality to come out of an abusive relationship.
Telly actor Daaljiet Kaur as well as Vaishnavi Dhanraj and even Shweta Tiwari suffered similar fate and decided to share their ordeal. The important thing to note is not that they suffered, but that they came out, shared and survived abusive horrors, giving a ray of hope to many who still continue to suffer in their marriages.
Abusive need not only be physical, it can also be verbal and psychological. All you have to do is gather the courage to fight off an abusive partner and seek help.
Many people notice the obvious abusive signs but continued to ignore them, perhaps for the sake of their families. But, it is these signs that are true indication of an abusive partner and one must watch out for them.
- Exhibits angry behaviour: Everybody gets angry once or twice, but if your partner is consistently upset and angry with you and behaves violently, you must report the matter or seek immediate help. This is one of the first few signs that your partner may be suffering from anger management issues, which can be dangerous later.
- Is extremely jealous: If your partner is always jealous of your success or your friendly nature or even your friends and family, and constantly possessive of your whereabouts, it's a definite sign for you to move on from this relationship or seek help.
- Is extremely controlling: If your partner wants to literally control your life, so much so that you don't even breathe without his/her permission then rest assured you are in an abusive relationship. Such partners expect their spouses to seek their permission, failing which they turn physically or verbally abusive.
So keep an eye out and just as these women did, fight off your abusers.