Premature ejaculation in marriage: How you can help your husband
Premature ejaculation in marriage can put a damper on an otherwise vibrant sex life. Here's how to keep ruining intimacy with your spouse.
When a man discharges semen sooner than expected during sexual intercourse, it is known as premature ejaculation. It is a common hurdle married couples face. When it happens frequently, it can greatly affect a couple’s sexual encounters and overall satisfaction.
What’s more it can emasculate a husband and cause feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy to build up. If your husband suffers form premature ejaculation, there are steps to helping him through it.
According to MayoClinic, it can be caused by a variety of psychologically related factors, like early sexual experiences, erectile dysfunction, poor self or body image, depression, anxiety, guilt, or history of sexual abuse.
It also helps to know whether there are emotional issues that keep your husband from being in control in bed. Aside from psychological causes, physical risk factors are abnormal hormone levels, or brain chemicals. It can also be an inherited condition.
If a man’s prostrate or urethra or prostate is inflamed, they’re also more at risk for this condition.
Premature ejaculation doesn’t just cause strain on a relationship, it can affect a couple’s ability to conceive, because oftentimes, ejaculation happens too early and thus does not occur intravaginally.
Sheila Gregoire, author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, shares that premature ejaculation is common during a man’s first sexual encounter, which usually happens in their teens or early 20s. This type of sexual dysfunction can be traced to dependence on viewing porn or masturbating frequently.
She advises wives whose husbands suffer from this, to address the root of the problem. Encouraging them to stop watching porn and masturbation helps them become more easily aroused and in control during intercourse.
Playing the “stop and start game” also works, according to Gregoire. To do this, track his level of arousal throughout foreplay by asking him to rate it on a scale of 1 to 10. By the time he reaches 6 or 7, stop intercourse. After this ask him to pleasure you for a few seconds. Then start over. This practice of prolonging pleasure and delaying orgasm helps some couples regain control of intimacy.
Another version of this game you could try is starting to make love, then stopping to pleasure him alone. Gregoire also recommends having a quickie during the day to make arousal and orgasm easier at night.
We hope these tips help both you and your husband improve intimacy!