When a marriage falls apart, separating amicably becomes quite difficult. Couples often blame each other or their families for the fall out. And in all this chaos, children of the broken marriage suffer the most.
But there is a way to still make a relationship work post a divorce. How, you ask? Well, take a cue from once married and much-in-love couple Farhan Akhtar and Adhuna Bhabani.
Farhan and Adhuna's amicable divorce
The two filed for a divorce last year in October and are currently in their six month waiting period. The two wanted to amicably part ways and made no allegations against each other.
This of course, has worked out wonderfully for their two daughters, Shakya and Akira who stay with their mum and have unrestricted visits from their father.
And now that all four of them are well-settled in their lives, it seems that Adhuna is ready to take the next step and is in love. Yes, you read that right.
The single mum who turned 50 yesterday, celebrated her half-century by sharing a poem she wrote that clearly indicates that she has moved on from her 16-years of marriage.
A new chapter in Adhuna's life
The B-Blunt co-founder shared a poem that discreetly pointed at her current relationship status and read:
"I just love, That I’m turning 50, That the lines on my face tell a story, I just love, That the father of my children is a good human being, And that my new lover is a patient one, I just love..."
Although the identity of her 'new lover' is yet unknown, Adhuna seems quite content with this development. Interestingly, the poem also spoke about her two children and how she was proud that they were born in a time where they could question the wrong and lead a path that was truly theirs.
"I just love, That my children are born in a generation of warriors and pioneers, That they have no apologies for being, That they WILL challenge our policies, 'Find them where the wild things are,' I just love..."
Her poignant post was a reminder of now only how well the couple has moved on, but their unique parenting style that lets their kids follow their dreams. It also made a point that single mum Adhuna had move on and her children are in the know and happy for her.
However, to reach this point, a couple must iron out all their differences and ease their kids into a warm introduction of their newest partner.
3 ways to counsel kids of a broken marriage
We spoke to Anuja Kapur, a Delhi-based psychologist who explained, "Usually parents want to remarry as soon as they get divorce. There is an introduction of stepfamilies, blended families, or reconstituted families. Remarriage is not a recreation of the two-parent family; it is another major life transition for the family."
She adds that this leads to the children, especially older one's not accepting the authority of that new person.
"They resent that person, and if that person dares to have kids with their parents, they resent the babies, too," she explains. However, there are ways in which parents can make this process easier for their kids.
- Talk openly with your children: Let them know you still care about them and that they're not being replaced or forgotten. Invite them to express their thoughts and emotions, and be open to making changes in how you handle the transition.
- Empathize and sympathise with their feelings: Regardless of your children's ages, remarriage evokes strong feelings that they may not understand or be able to communicate. Children see remarriage as a loss — often at the end of a string of losses. Validate your children's feelings by listening to and acknowledging their concerns.
- Allow children to take time to adjust: While children may eventually embrace the new relationships, few do so at first. Be sensitive to this need for time to adjust. Do not force children to accept the situation. You can, however, expect them to be courteous and respectful.
Read: Parting ways: Talking to kids about your divorce
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[All images courtesy: Instagram]
