Positive parenting and why you should embrace it when your child is misbehaving
Research shows that children are understood best when they feel valued and heard and don’t find the need to get defensive
All children tend to misbehave sometimes, and that's when parents step in to discipline them. But the most efficient way to teach them is not with anger or rage, but to treat them with a loving and gentle guidance, otherwise called positive discipline.
Positive parenting: Ways to keep your cool when your child is misbehaving
This loving guidance makes for happier kids and parents and resists any temptation to be punitive. Research shows that children are understood best when they feel valued and heard and don’t find the need to get defensive.
So here are a few ways in which you can control the misbehavior of your little ones with a loving guidance.
1.Understanding your child's behavior
When your child is misbehaving, always remember that your children act up when they feel offended or bad about themselves, especially when they feel a disconnection.
So before you scold them for their behavior, stop and evaluate the situation. See why they behaved that way in the first place.
What you should do, is stoop down to the child’s level and listen to what he has to say about the situation. Then go ahead and explain how that was not the right way to react.
Also, tell your kid how he could have reacted instead. This way you can reaffirm your bond and ensure your little one still feels like you understand him.
2. Focus on keeping yourself cool
Sometimes our kids can drive us crazy, or even a hectic work life or bad relationships can drive us nuts. But it doesn’t help if you channel your anger towards your kids. Staying calm and composed before your little one when your child is misbehaving is positive parenting.
You may be in a bad mood and your mind is in a “fight-impulse”, but, by screaming or becoming physically rough, you can potentially harm the impression your child has for you.
Instead of snapping at your little one, use the opportunity to heal yourself. Your children idolize you and are in a learning phase, so make sure you do the right thing.
3. Give attention to actions you approve
Kids can be stubborn to try and get your attention. As a parent you tend to focus more on the behavior you don’t like. When your child is misbehaving or you see him whine or throwing a tantrum, just subtly ignore it or walk away.
That way he will realize that he needs to try communicating in another way. Help him understand that he has choices, and don't give in to his misbehavior.
Tips to keep in mind
- While talking to your children, always choose your words properly. Your little ones can get cranky too. But when you treat them with empathy and gently coach your child through their anger, they grow up with a stable mental state.
- Don’t expect your child to have the same level of maturity as yours.
- Consider the stage of social and emotional development they are at. Positive language and gestures can instill the concept of discipline better in your little one’s mind.
- If you have assigned a chore to your kid, and he does not do it, then it should not result in punishment, but in consequences such as reduced TV time or silent treatment.
- This works great as it is a terrific learning experience. Be consistent with your expectations, and your child will never disobey you or make you upset.
Children often misbehave when they feel bad about something or feel disconnected from us. Never create that situation for them. Positive parenting can teach your naughty little one to manage his emotion and learn to behave, particularly when your child is misbehaving.
Peaceful parenting and a loving guidance raise great kids, and creates a beautiful bond between you and your child.