For the past year and a half, Kareena Kapoor Khan has been in the limelight for 'breaking the stereotypes.' She first made flaunting the baby bump popular, then as any regular pregnant woman, she continued her work and later post the delivery of her star son, did not try to hide him from the public.
She was responsible for many firsts and brought about a new normalcy for actresses who aspire to have kids, but refrain from doing so for fear of losing out on work. So in other words, yes, the new mother did start a trend.
But with all the bouquets came the brickbats. Women called Kareena out to say that she wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary. And while she could take all the criticism on herself when it came to her parenting skills for Taimur, she was not ready.
Yes, that's correct.
"Everyone has an opinion in India"
In a recent interview the new mum shared that since women in India are judged on the basis of their age, she was also at the receiving end of a lot of criticism.
"It's the beginning of a new phase in my life. After becoming a mother, I'm learning new things every passing day. It's a long journey and Saif (Ali Khan) and I are very excited about it. I agree that very often, pregnant women are seen as ticking time bombs, but that perception never bothered me. I generally do things that I want to do and enjoy. Being pregnant and still being out there was something I chose to do. Everyone has an opinion in India, especially when it concerns women," she said.
"Postpartum depression is not a must, right?"
She also addressed postpartum depression, which she says many people consider should happen post delivery.
"Yes, I was on my feet a few days after the delivery, but it's upsetting to have people judge you for it. No one has the right to comment on how I conduct myself or what sort of a mother I am. Everyone seems to have an opinion. Postpartum depression is not a must, right? It's whimsical to generalise that every woman goes through that phase, almost making it sound like a norm," she said.
Bebo also added that no two mothers can be equated.
"Every pregnancy and every mother's journey with her child during those nine months and afterwards is different. You can't draw parallels. No one out there really knows me or what I am feeling at a given time. How can anyone decide on my behalf whether I am supposed to feel depressed or if I can step out before 45 days? If I'm spoken about like that, what would it be like for other women?" she asked.
"There's always the pressure of being judged"
As far as being judged as a mother, Kareena said she did not like the way people judged her parenting skills.
"Just because I'm elusive and my husband and I are not on social media talking about our emotions on an hourly basis, people take the liberty to put out stories about my child and me. It was annoying to read reports about my fitness regimen and the way I'm losing weight. As a couple, we don't share details of our lives with the world at large. So, I will not clarify what we do, how I plan to lose weight or what I do with my baby. I enjoyed my pregnancy and I will enjoy my life on my terms. What kind of a mother I am is something that will unfold with time. I will not scream from rooftops about experiencing motherhood or how much I love Taimur. There's always the pressure of being judged, no matter what you do. It's about how you deal with it," she said.
In her interview, Kareena raised an important point- why should mothers whether working or staying-at-home be judged for their choices? We must take a cue from this new mum and question such practices. But most importantly we must become immune to such unnecessary criticism.
3 reasons every new mum should adopt a nonchalant attitude
- It's your life: You are an adult. If you are old enough to get married, cook for your family, care for your elders and balance between work and home, you are old enough to decide when you want to become a mother. It is your life and you are the sole decision-maker, so don't succumb under pressure and lead it the way you want to.
- It's your baby: Now that you decided to have a baby, it is up to you to care and raise your baby the way you so desire. Many would argue that their in-laws and sometimes even parents interfere in parenting, but at the end of the day, it's your baby and you know best how to raise them. Remember, take all the advice you get, but follow your heart.
- It's not advice: If somebody is constantly judging you for your parenting skills, your cooking skills, your cleaning skills and calling it 'advice in good faith,' it may not actually be advice. It may simply be a covert way to judge you. So adopt a nonchalant attitude and continue to do as you please, at home and especially with your kid.
Read: Why I STOP myself from being an overprotective mother
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[All images courtesy: Instagram]
