While mothers always get appreciated for the sacrifices and pains they have taken to raise their kids, seldom do we talk about what the father goes through and how fatherhood changes a man.
And who would be better to come out in the open about those feelings than Infosys founder Narayan Murthy. The IT baron has written a moving letter to his daughter Akshata, which is filled with parenting tips that could be valuable life-lessons for all kids.
Here are six parenting lessons for every parent from Narayan Murthy’s letter to his daughter Akshata.
#1 Fatherhood makes a man more sensitive
Mr Murthy begins the letter with the fact that fatherhood makes a man more sensitive and also helps raise the benchmark of his life, in every aspect.
An old photograph of Narayan Murthy with his kids. [Image courtesy: India Today]
“Becoming a father transformed me in ways that I could never have thought possible. I was no more just a husband, a son, or a promising employee of a fast-growing company. Your birth raised the benchmark of my life, in every aspect. My interactions at the workplace became more thoughtful and measured; the quality of my transactions with the outside world more considerate, dignified, and mature. I felt a need to deal with every human being more sensitively and courteously,” he writes.
#2 Parenting can be tough for fathers, too
While a lot is said about how mothers find it tough to deal with kids and their everyday problems, Murthy in his letter says that when his daughter was born he realised that it was a difficult task to nurture a child and manage careers side by side.
“My mind often goes back to the initial days after your birth. Your mother and I were young then and struggling to find our feet in our careers. Two months after your birth in Hubli, we brought you to Mumbai, but discovered quickly enough, that . So, we decided that you would spend the initial years of your life with your grandparents in Hubli. Naturally, it was a hard decision to make, one which took me quite a bit of time to come to terms with. Every weekend, I would take the plane to Belgaum and then hire a car to Hubli. It was very expensive, but I couldn’t do without seeing you,” he writes.
#3 Fathers should let mothers take the lead
While he is often asked about the qualities that he has inculcated in his kids, Murthy says that it was his wife who shouldered this great responsibility.
Narayan Murthy with his wife Sudha. [Image courtesy: Inc 42]
Read on to know more about what Narayan Murthy wrote in his letter to his daughter…
“She taught Rohan and you the importance of simplicity and austerity. There was this one instance, in Bangalore, when you were selected for a school drama for which you were required to wear a special dress. It was in the mid-eighties, Infosys had just begun its operations, and we did not have any money to spend on non-basic goods. Your mother explained to you that we would not be able to buy the dress and that you would have to drop out of the performance. Much later, you told me that you had not been able to understand or appreciate that incident,” he mentions in his letter.
#4 The simplest things in life are often the happiest and they are for free
What’s worth noting is the fact that Narayan Murthy and his wife continue to live simple lives even after being the founders of the most successful Indian IT company in the world.
“Life has changed for us since then and there is enough money. But, you know, our lifestyle continues to be simple. I remember discussing with your mother the issue of sending you kids to school by car once we were a little comfortable with money, but your mother insisted that Rohan and you go to school with your classmates in the regular autorickshaw. You made great friends with the ‘rickshaw uncle’ and had fun with the other kids in the auto. The simplest things in life are often the happiest and they are for free,” he writes.
#5 Spending quality time with the whole family is a must
Another important parenting tip that Narayan Murthy talks about in his letter is the importance of spending quality time with your kids and as a family altogether. Today we see more and more families spending a lot of time watching television shows, even when they are having their meals.
While TV is a good form of entertainment, nothing can be more interesting for a family than talking to each other or discussing what you did during the day. Not only would it help strengthen your bond as a family, it would also help you understand each other better.
Narayan Murthy with wife Sudha, daughter Akshata and son Rohan. [Image courtesy: funonline]
“You would often ask me why there was no television at our home when the rest of your friends discussed stuff they watched on TV. Your mother decided early on that there would be no TV in Our home so that there would be time for things like studying, reading, discussions, and meeting friends. She insisted that it was important to create an environment conducive to learning at home. Therefore, every night we dedicated the time between 8 pm and 10 pm to pursuits that brought the family together in a productive environment.While Rohan and you did your schoolwork, your mother and I read books on History, Literature, Physics, Mathematics, and Engineering, or did any office work,” he writes.
#6 It is also important to be a responsible parent
Mr Murthy ends the letter with a very important message, which is to be wary of the environmental problems that we are facing and how all of us should make sure that we teach our kids to save the earth from them.
“As you pursue your goals and live a contended life, remember that there is only one planet for us to live in and that planet is now becoming endangered. Remember that it is your responsibility to pass on this planet to Krishnaa in a better condition than you got it from us,” he concludes.
You can read the whole letter here.
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