"I think my husband is having an affair… Should I confront him?"
Shreelekha T shares with theIndusParent her relationship dilemma
"I have been married for 8 years now and truth be told, there is nothing extraordinary about my marriage. Ours was an arranged match, the families took charge of most things and though we did meet a few times alone before we got married, which was nice and romantic but beyond that I can’t say there was anything spectacular about our bond.
But we have been a happy couple in the textbook sense. We understand each other’s needs well, care about one another and are also blessed with two toddlers. I left my job as an accountant in a firm after my first baby and have decided to put my career on a back burner till my children are older.
My husband is having an affair...
My husband meanwhile has been scaling newer heights in his career and financially we are comfortable. Things are going well except for one gnawing worry that has been recurring for the past 6-8 months.
I suspect that my husband is having an affair on the side. Even though I can say this with conviction as my womanly instincts point towards this but I do not have any enough evidence to prove this. I will tell you my story and ask what your opinion is.
My husband has been working in the same office for 8 years and has a colleague – an attractive young woman in her early 30’s. She is married but has no children and her husband frequently travels abroad for work. The first seeds of suspicion were sown in my mind when I noticed that she called my husband sometimes to take official advice.
Now before you shrug me off as a narrow-minded possessive wife, let me tell you that my husband is an extremely introvert person. He has never ever given me any advice on my career and is the last person to counsel anyone. So, yes it did surprise me even though I maintain that nothing in those conversations indicated any thing romantic.
I have seen my husband chatting with her on phone...
At least never when I was around. Less than a year ago, once when we went to my husband’s office party where spouses were also invited I noticed that she was extremely cold towards me. When we were introduced she just nodded her head and looked in the other direction. I also noticed her taking sideways glances at me though honestly, I felt more conscious as I am nowhere close to her in confidence and attractiveness.
Sometimes when I call my husband and he’s on his way back to work I have heard her voice in the background, perhaps talking to some other colleague or someone on phone. When I have tried asking my husband if he was dropping off someone he has point blank said no.
This has confused me but what has made matters even worse is that a few times I have seen my husband chatting with her on phone but soon as I entered he quickly stopped the conversation.
Whenever I have tried to talk about her while mentioning other colleagues my husband visibly get discomforted and avoids any conversation about her. Once or twice when I have asked him if he knows her husband too he has denied and has kept any conversations about her limited.
The last blow came a few months ago when I actually spotted my husband and her in the car. I was on the terrace and I saw my husband dropping her off a few steps before our home. She does not live in our neighborhood and I have no idea why she took that ride with my husband but that day when I asked my husband why he got late he avoided telling me that she was with him.
My husband closely guards his phone...
My husband closely guards his phone and often gets late from work these days. He always says that late night work assignments keep him in office but sometimes out of my suspicion when I have called on the office landline number no one has ever answered the phone.
Sometimes when I have called I have distinctly heard soft music or a home set up in the background even though he quickly cut me short saying that he’s in middle of work and will call back.
I am restless but do not know if my reasons are enough to suspect him. Should I confront him even though I have nothing concrete to prove my point? He may just say No and my relationship may turn worse. He may also think that I am behaving in an extremely jealous way and it could further distance me from him.
I am at my wits’ end and do not know a way out.
*Name has been withheld to protect identity