“Congratulations! You have delivered a baby boy. Now there is no need for you to worry.”
This was what everybody told me when they came to visit me in the hospital after the birth of my son.
I was confused as to what it exactly signified so I asked the elders around me and was told that since the baby is a boy, I don’t have to bother about him, he will take care of himself and I’ll be free.
“Funny,” I thought, not quite understanding their sentiments very well. In my thought process, every child irrespective of whether it’s a boy or a girl demanded equal attention.
So, there I was, thinking day and night about how simple my life would or wouldn’t be after the birth of a son. However, I didn’t have to wait for too long to get into the groove and soon I realised that there are many myths about boys floating in our society, which unfortunately are what they are--myths!
# Myth 1: Boys are safe!
A few days later, I picked up the newspaper and was flipping through the pages, when my eyes fell on a report. The headline of the report made me uneasy – “Neighbour sodomizes 3-year-old boy, dumps his dead body in the canal”
I suddenly felt the urge to throw up and didn’t have the strength to read the entire piece. That was the day when the first myth was broken. Never before had such reports caught my attention. I'd always read reports on girls and women being unsafe, but this made me realise that even boys are not safe.
I made a silent vow that day, never to leave my son with anyone barring his grandparents. If I had to go out, I would leave him with grandparents. In case they were unavailable, I took him along. I didn't trust anyone. People thought I was a maniac but my son's safety was top priority and if people thought so, so be it.
# Myth 2: Scars on boys don't matter
Why should we even think that for a boy, scars on the face don't matter? Is it because preserving a girl’s face is more important to enhance her marriage prospects? Isn’t that degrading? A scar is a scar, so why should they matter on a girl’s face, even if they don't look good on a boy’s face?
I heard this often from the people around me-“Leave him alone. Let him fall and get scars, that’s how boys should be brought up. Not delicately like girls.” On the contrary, my husband and I always tried to prevent him from getting hurt. Though not always possible, we still tried our best not to be careless parents.
# Myth 3: Boy’s shouldn’t do housework
Why not! I always try to engage my son in some or the other household work with myself. Though his contribution is almost negligible, I want him to know there is nothing wrong with boys helping in household chores. Once when I told him that since he’s growing up he should start doing his things on his own, his prompt reply was, “Why should I, my wife will do them for me. Just as you do.”
I calmly replied, “Darling, somewhere in the world, wherever your future spouse is, she is also being brought up with the same love and affection as you are. She too must be bogged down by academic pressure, she too must be going for various sports or music classes. Once grown up and married, she too will have a career as you and she might choose to continue working even after you have children. So, if you do your work yourself, you'll never be dependent on anyone"
He didn’t seem too happy about it, perhaps still too young to understand, but it must have registered somewhere deep inside and will be understood in due course of time, I’m sure.
#Myth 4: You don’t need to keep an eye on boys
Absolutely wrong! If you think you don't need to monitor sons, you're fooling yourself. As the mother of a son, it is even more important to keep a tab on what your son is doing and what company he keeps. Most parents tend to become casual about this but that's when it does the most damage. In this tech-savvy world, it is not very easy to keep an eye on your children, but we can definitely try.
#Myth 5: A boy can do anything he feels like and his image will stay intact
This is by far the most widely followed practice in our country, the one which is leading to its downfall. I strongly believe that no boy or man should be left free to do whatever he likes. The newspaper is filled with filthy reports of men disgracing women and molestation and rape have become such casual words that they have ceased to make an impact on people.
Being the mother of a son, I owe it to the society to make my son aware that every woman on this planet has an equal right to freedom as much as he does. He has no right to disrespect any woman just because he is a man. When a man passes lewd remarks, molests or rapes a woman, it is not she who loses her dignity, it is the man’s dignity that is lost forever.
I’m sure by now you know why being the mother of a son isn’t a lesser responsibility in any way. Do you agree with me?
Also Read: I have stopped making this big PARENTING MISTAKE. It's time you stopped too.
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[Image courtesy: Pixabay]
