How to maintain friendships as a new mother

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Just because you're a parent now doesn't mean you should let your friendships fall by the wayside

Having children turns your world upside down, and it’s inevitable that your social life will be affected. You’ll have less time for yourself, let alone your friends. A recent discussion on theAsianparent Community was just about that:

mom friends

Parenthood has given you a new set of priorities, but that doesn’t mean that you should let your social life die. Here are some tips to help you maintain your friendships, and make new ones as well:

Be intentional

First and foremost, you should make an effort. It’s easy to make your child your whole world, but you’ll be a healthier and happier parent if you maintain a good support group of loving friends.

“It is important for you to remember that you are not just a mommy!” Jacq N. responded. “When you feel the need to connect with someone (who is an adult and not your partner), just phone up your close friends and have a catch up session.”

mom friends

Photo: Dreamstime

Though you will be tempted to talk about your child all the time, try not to let all of your conversations revolve around that. Sure, your close friends should understand that your child is basically your world now, but try to find mutual ground as well. And, of course, you can’t go wrong with being a good listener.

For more tips on maintaining friends as a mom, click to the next page.

Find alternatives

If your friends invite you out and you’re not available (and this will happen a lot), set a different time and date instead of just declining and leaving it at that. Find a time when you’re both free—like your lunch break or right after work. If you really want to keep your friends in your life, you have to make an effort as well.

Or, instead of going out of your way to meet your friends, you could invite them over instead. That’s exactly what Lina S. did. She wrote, “I’d meet my unmarried/single friends once in a blue moon when they cover over to my place to play with the little one.”

mom friends

Photo: Dreamstime

Make mum friends

“I joined mommies’ group chats to make relevant friends, as we have more of the same topics to talk about,” wrote Jolin L.

As you’re in a new chapter of your life, you’d want to make friends with other women who are going through the same things. Now just because your kids are the same age doesn’t mean that you’ll get along, but if you put yourself out there and keep an open mind, you’ll be making new friends in no time.

“Cause of the baby’s schedule it is hard to meet up with anyone,” Karen Y. said. “But once they start school, you will get to know their classmates’ parents. And slowly u will build up a new circle of friends from there.”

READ: “If only it were that easy”: Mom opens up about making new friends as a parent

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