Be honest, be humble and be warm – these are few of the words that parents keep reminding their children since their first day of understanding the challenges of life. Does that mean parents are always right?
No, at times parents end up hiding something or lying about something to children, which can have severe side effects later on. Obviously, parents don’t realize when telling a lie as they are always trying to teach their children to be a good human being but they see the side effects only when children grow up.
Here are 6 lies parents should never tell their children.
#1. Lies about ghost and other stories
Another common thing, which is used in almost all the Indian households, is to lie about existence of ghosts. When your children don’t go to sleep on time or don’t eat properly or even if when they get cranky, you start telling them “beta so jao nai toh bhoot le jayega” or “khana kha lo nai toh tumhe bhoot le jayega”.
Even if your children don’t know the meaning of ghost when they are small, you create a scary image within their mind. Children tend to believe that ghost is someone who will spoil their happiness and you have the capacity to call them. At times, this thought gets stuck in the mind of lot of kids and rather than becoming fearless in life, they end up having scary nightmares which makes their life miserable.
#2. Health issues
If any of the parents has major health issues such as cancer or anything that doesn’t have a cure, they shouldn’t lie to their children about it. Till the time your kid is just two or three year old, its fine, but as they start going to the school, they need to be told about all the serious problems. Remember as much as it’s easy to make a child understand about your problems at a young age, it’s far more difficult for them to digest the truth once they cross the age of 12.
Read on to know about the other lies that you should never tell your kids
#3. Job status of either parent
Children as young as age 4 should know the status of the jobs of their parents and the kind of money you earn. Just when your kids start learning to say please and thank you, they are ready to be told about your earning status. For example if you are earning Rs. 50,000 a month, your children must be aware of it and shouldn’t demand an expensive gift, which is out of your budget.
Money is the topic that kids will definitely listen to if its been taught in a nice way. Your false promises can take them away from your love and affection. These days kids learn a lot about money in school, on TV or from their friends so it’s important that you tell them about your monthly budgets and spending powers so that they don’t demand something unaffordable and get into depression upon not meeting them.
#4. Weaknesses
If your children have certain weaknesses, you should not hide it from them. If your children has won a chess competition, you can surely use mundane adjectives like “gifted” and empathetic”. But at the same time if he/she has lost a badminton game in school, you need to make your child accept that they are not good at it. While it’s understood that you all are trying to work the system and come out with a portrait of a perfect kid, do not lie to your children about what they are not good at.
#5. Adoption
It’s not a good idea to hide the reality from your child even if you have adopted them right after their birth time. You may think about not telling the truth till your child is not mature enough, but keep in mind the people who are around and have never seen you pregnant.
Imagine if your child finds out about it from another source – how upset would he/she be at that time? Children also end up disrespecting you and start spending time all alone thinking they don’t have anybody of their own in this world. In some cases, children face huge depression and end up committing suicide as well.
#6. Separation
In India, the marriage is supposed to be the journey of togetherness of a man and a woman. But it’s natural that the feelings might change for each other after few years of marriage. It can also happen within a year of marriage or after having children. A couple might feel that a separation is the only solution behind their happiness but the decision of divorce become all the more difficult when you have kids.
So if you are having troubles in your marriage, you should not perceive to be a happy couple in front of your kids. Rather than making it too complicated by hiding it from your child, you should make your children understand slowly and maturely. If your decision comes as a shock to the child, they may end up hating you all through their life.
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