"I hate my in-laws!" How many times have you had this same frustrated thought after yet another fight with them?
You can't help but remember how things used to be smooth in the past... of course, before you got married to their son!
The question remains, what happened, and what can be done to repair your relationship with your in-laws?
Just by recognizing the competitive nature of this relationship and addressing your in-laws’ concerns, you’re already on the road towards a rosier relationship with your husband's parents. Here are some more tips to help mend your relationship.
Stop saying, "I hate my in-laws!": Tips to get along with your in-laws
1. Make them feel included
One of your in-laws’ biggest fears is losing their child. By setting up plans for dinners and other gatherings, you can alleviate those fears! Assure them that you look forward to spending quality time with them and getting to know them better - after all, they’re your parents now too!
2. Change competition into collaboration
You can show them that you trust and value their opinions by seeking their advice on certain matters but it’s important to actually follow that advice.
At the same time, use this to set boundaries for where their influence is welcome versus when you and your partner need to make decisions on your own. This might lead to some growing pains, but by virtue of knowing that you’re asking them about other things, they will feel better.
3. Communicate quickly and directly
Refrain from communicating through a third party when something is bothering you. If you ask your partner to tell his parents about something they did that offended you will create a bigger situation and likely it will lead to an unnecessary misunderstanding. Instead, by speaking to your in-laws directly, it will be easier to find a solution to the issue.
4. Don’t criticize your partner’s family
While you can’t argue with the saying, “when you marry someone, you’re also marrying their family”, at the same time that doesn’t mean you can criticize your spouse’s family. Even if you hear them criticizing their parents or their siblings, they will feel challenged if you start doing the same.
Follow these tips, and soon "I hate my in-laws!" will change to "I love my in-laws!" (or at least like them).
Read more: The nastiest thing my mother-in-law has ever done to me
Sources
Fatherly, Family Education, Live About
*Republished from The Asianparent Singapore