"Parenting is truly an Art. There is no right or wrong"

"Parenting is truly an Art. There is no right or wrong"

When I told my son that your friend had come and he wasn’t happy that you threw mud on him. He was like Mama; we all were playing and it was a game

The other day my young son came home soaked in mud from top to toe. I swear he would have been the perfect candidate for those surf excel advertisements. Maybe not me for I wasn’t smiling and saying “no problem sonny – stains are good.”

As irritated as I was thinking about the herculean task of hand-washing his clothes whilst recouping from a cold, I just smiled and said go for a bath.

He loves getting drenched in the rain and when he gets an opportunity he makes full use of it. So, I didn’t want to disappoint him by getting upset. And yeah, sometimes I manage to control my hyper mind and handle a situation calmly. Guess I even got a quizzical look from both my son and mother. The one which said “why isn’t she shouting or screaming her head off”.

kids playing in the rain

Of course it wasn’t over yet. Ten minutes later I had a lady with her son at my door bell. I was told that my son threw mud over hers first. By no means do I exaggerate when I say that her son had a blob of mud on the back of his tee.

She looked pissed, I asked her to come in she said No. I said am sorry, he is having a bath else I would have asked him to apologise as well. I tried to be funny by adding, “You should have seen my son’s condition.” No one smiled.

Is there a child within us?

Coming back to my topic – Is there a child within us? How often do we as parents stop a moment to think about the quantum of involvement / interference is necessary in our children’s life. When we see our kids being naughty, do we think, gosh I too would have done the same or perhaps worse.

I was a naughty child compared to my sister, however I distinctly remember, our parents clearly telling us – no complaining about other kids, sort your own matters.

Of course, invariably there would have been moments where parents would have had to step in and take matters in their own hands.

Continue reading to know what happened next!

But, that is how I remember growing up and all my friends too. That made it easier as we knew that if we fought we had to bear the repercussions too.

When I told my son that your friend had come and he wasn’t happy that you threw mud on him. He was like Mama; we all were playing and it was a game. Next time you also go and complain to his mother.

I felt horrible and wished I hadn’t shared with him what had happened. I also realised that I was undoing all the qualities we had tried to inculcate in him.

We have always told him that never pick up a fight but if someone bothers you take action to resolve it in the best way possible. In today’s dynamic world, children need to be street smart and bold right from a young age.

So, I spoke to him and said No I won't go and complain however next time please be careful and if someone doesn’t like it don’t bother them. I don’t know if this was the best advice I could give him and whether he would listen either, however, I was sure of one thing – that I am happy how we are bringing him up and neither will I ring anyone’s door bell and complain. We are also letting the child in us enjoy life as our son does with his antics.

My son was squeaky clean and so were his clothes (after a lot of scrubbing..). He shared over dinner what a fun evening it was throwing mud on his friends and vice versa. He took me back to my childhood, to those fun carefree moments and how life should be easy and simple. We get so caught up in the mundane that we forget the magic of being US.

How many times do we actually spend time without worrying about the lack of it. When do we go all out not bothered about who will think or talk about us..

I looked on smilingly at him wishing these moments would forever be cherished fondly.

Parenting is truly an Art. There is no right or wrong just learning experiences and a journey of not just a child but a mother and father as well.

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Written by

Payal Shankar

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