"I want to have a baby boy... and it has nothing to do with my mentality or background"
Remember that as much as we need girls in this country, we need boys too. Boys who are taught to respect women, love them and treat them as their equals.
Last week, there was something that really caught my attention and more than just that it left me disturbed.
There was a simple post on a Facebook mommy group where one of the members expressed her desires to have a boy after her first baby was a girl. She said she would be happy if she has a boy this time as her family would be complete.
Now, is there anything wrong with that? To me, it’s her personal choice, even if her first-born was a boy. Being the mother of that child it is her choice to wish for anything in this world.
But, does that mean that without knowing her reasons we all pounce on her and start saying that she has a regressive mentality?
Yes, that’s exactly what happened. All the mothers in the group just bashed her black and blue for favouring a male child and also reprimanded her for being uneducated and being oh-so orthodox in her thinking.
What’s more, some of the so-called activist mums, even held her responsible for the declining female birth rate in India and the unfortunate treatment that’s meted to the girl child in India. As if she is responsible for that!
And frankly, no one even knew (or tried to know) who she was and where she came from and without even understanding what she was trying to say, everyone just started bashing her.
As all that happened in front of me, I couldn’t stop but hang my head in disbelief. Is this what you mean by "Support the girl child"? Bash anyone and everyone who wants to have a boy and instill in everyone's minds that wishing for a male child is the biggest crime in India?
So does that mean all forward-thinking mothers should only wish to have a girl child? And those who want baby boys, are labeled as uneducated, and regressive! Really? Is this what you think it is?
Am sorry to say, but I don’t think so. I have a six-year-old girl and if I ever wish to have a baby again, I want it to be a boy. Not because am uneducated, not because am backward, not because my family is pressurizing me, not because I don’t favour girls, and surely not because I have a regressive mentality and come from one of those states that have high female foeticide rates.
I want to have a boy because... I want to! Period. It’s as simple as that! I love girls, but I love boys too and if I have a baby boy I would make sure that I treat him the same way as I treat my first-born, my precious little girl.
I’ll make sure that I raise him in a gender-neutral environment, treat him and his sister equally, push them both equally and support them both equally. Most of all, I’ll make sure I show him how to treat the women in his life and why it is so, so important to support women and nurture them.
I come from a family of girls (we are four sisters) and needless to say, am all for girls. Yay! But, I have seen how my only brother was gradually and slowly taught to respect his sisters and treat them as his equals. He was taught that being a boy is certainly not a privilege and so when the maid would take leave, I would do the dishes and he would mop the floor.
He was used to doing small things like serving the guests, getting things for us sisters and basically taught that women have to be treated equally, not just outside the house but in the family too.
And tell me one thing, if you wish for a girl and you are blessed with a boy, would it make you less of a mother? Won't you treat him as your own heart and a part of your soul? Won't it be the same if you have a girl and not a boy? Is it not important for everyone in India to wish for a healthy baby (and mother) and not be so stuck on the gender!
So, stop harping on this "gender-bias" issue and remember that as much as we need girls in this country, we need boys too. Boys who are taught to respect their women, love them and treat them as their equals.
To all you expecting ladies, next time if someone asks you what is it that you want—speak your mind. If you want to have a boy, say that and make a promise in your heart that you will raise him well.
And to all my other mummy friends, please stop bashing anyone and everyone who wants to have a boy. Wish the to-be mum all the very best as she embarks on the biggest journey of her life—motherhood.
Help her and be with her. Not only in words but also in your actions because to-be mums need all the love and support in this world as much as the new baby that's about to be born. Don't you agree?
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