I come from a typical Punjabi family where being married at 18 was a blessing for not just the girl but also for the entire family. Give it a year or two if you are lucky and then pop those kids out one by one. Yes, we cant stop at 1, since having two kids certifies the norms of a perfect family. Thereafter you are a mum for life.
Thank Heavens I was a rebel and so were my parents and we did none of the above. I got married at 23 out of choice and took 5 years to have my one and only son. Yeah, we are a “Perfect” threesome. Naah, we are not. However, we are extremely happy and grateful for the choices we made and the support we have from our respective parents.
When I was with my parents I was always allowed to make my own choices and never put under any kind of unnecessary pressure. I am thankful to my parents for it is this kind of support which made me understand and respect myself first before I expected it out of anyone.
Of course, I did goof up a lot but never was I made to feel guilty about it. My father ensured my sister and I were his princesses always. Marriage thankfully didn’t change anything for me. My husband is supportive and encouraging of my choices. Like when I conceived I wanted to take a complete break from work, even if that meant that financially he would have to take the extra load, he told me only thing – “Do whatever makes you happy.”
2 years back, I decided I wanted to get back to work, he again told me to go right ahead and he would support me in whatever capacity he can. It is these kind of incidents that reinforce my fact that one should never forget their identity first.
Continue on the next page on why the author feels that it's important that a woman never forgets her identity
Probably, I am lucky or my wild side ensures that I live my life on my terms and more importantly never forget that I am a woman first and put that before any of my other roles. It’s important to be happy with yourself in order to spread the same in your environment.
A lot of times we just get bogged down by a monotonous role or perhaps start believing that any role we have is our identity. That itself becomes a problem in the long run. How can being married be anyone’s identity or for that matter bearing a child? These are the various roles of a Woman which she is and will always be first.
If being a mother was every woman’s identity then what would you call a woman who can’t or doesn’t want babies? She is a Woman who doesn’t want kids but she is still someone who has a great job, partner and is leading a life full of joy and dignity.
We as women forget our worth and stop taking chances once we don new roles. Unnecessary expectations that get shoved down to us and is ingrained that we need to be like this. We need to change this mindset and start from us. If we believe that we are priority we will be for others too.
So, start doing all those things you love. Take out time for yourselves, pampering goals should be achieved on a monthly if not weekly basis. Buy that dress you have been eyeing at the store, get a good cuppa with your favourite gal pals. Just do all those things that make you happy and not just once in a while but as part of your forever routine.
Be yourself, be a Woman and Cherish it.
Also Read: 5 things I refuse to give up after becoming a mother
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