I love Siddharth, but I’m still the most important person in my life: Vidya Balan
"If you think I am being selfish, self-centred, self-consumed, self-absorbed, self-indulgent - I don't care!"
If there is one actress we all love for her no-nonsense attitude, it has to Vidya Balan. Primarily because she doesn't mince her words and says things as it is. The actress has spoken again and has made us think about the dilemma married women in India have to go through the rest of their lives.
Happily married to Bollywood film producer Siddharth Roy Kapoor, Vidya says that even though she loves her husband a lot, she is still the most important person in her life. Vidya adds that in India everyone treats men as very important.
"In interviews I get asked about my marriage and when I am having a child, time and again. There are other actors, male actors, who have gotten married. Obviously they are not asked, 'when are you impregnating your wife?' They are not even asked, 'how is your married life going?'" says Vidya.
"At least in India, everyone, including women, have treated men like the most important person in their lives. But today, I very proudly tell people, that I am the most important person in my life. And sometimes people are taken aback, because as a married woman, I should be saying that Siddharth is the most important person in my life. I love Siddharth, but I am still the most important person in my life. If you think I am being selfish, self-centred, self-consumed, self-absorbed, self-indulgent - I don't care! This is what it is. It is high time," she said while speaking to a national daily.
Vidya further adds that though she believes in the institution of marriage, she's not used to taking the second place, which is quite the norm in India.
"My father told Siddharth before we got married that you know, she is a very angry girl, so please handle her with care and know that that is who she is. I do believe in the institution of marriage, and I want to be with Siddharth, so I don't want anything to derail it. I am wondering if me being me is going to derail it. So this jaddo-jahed within. I am not used to taking second place, but telling myself, why should it affect you, if someone is saying Mr and Mrs Siddharth Roy Kapur? You are one unit now," she says.
Continue reading on the next page to know what angers Vidya Balan!
While she is learning to get used to it, Vidya says that there are certain things that anger her.
"Sometimes people will invite him and say to him please let Vidya know. These little things will anger me. But then I am telling myself that you have not understood the meaning of marriage. Marriage is when you let yourself get subsumed. It was not about Siddharth and me as individuals ever," she says.
"It was about how to be in a marriage, what is a marriage? How am I supposed to be as a woman at this stage of my life? When people ask me, 'do you seek Siddharth's permission?' I feel it even difficult to say 'what?!' But I know that it is the reality for a lot of people. It is also encouraged. Mr remains Mr (after marriage), Mrs is subsumed. Why can't it be Mr and Miss?" she adds.
Things you should never give up after getting married
As a married woman in India, many of us get so busy settling in our new lives that we often forget about ourselves. Here are a few things a woman should never give up after marriage:
1.Spending time with your friends: While you're too busy being the doting wife and daughter-in-law most of the times, you can take it easy and relax when you're with your friends. That's why you should make sure you take out time to meet your friends at least once a month if not every week.
2. Pursue your hobbies: If you used to attend dance classes before, make sure you do so after marriage as well to beat the stress and just feel happy about life.
3.Take out time with your family: Family is the one who knows you in and out and your family members are the ones who would help you out in difficult times. They also never fail to put a smile on your face. Don't you agree?
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the article, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ and Twitter to stay up-to-date on the latest from theIndusparent.com