I have a crush on my brother-in-law. Should I feel guilty?

There have been times that I have fumbled while talking to him and then have gone red thinking what if he realizes that I have a sort of crush on him.

Before you all get me wrong, let me begin by telling you that I have a normal marriage. I am a devoted wife to my husband and ours was an arranged match.

My in-laws' family just like mine is a bit conservative. So that means that when men sit and dine, women have to serve them.

My husband never ever asks me to join him for dinner and though he loves me he does not believe in going out of his way to do anything extraordinary for him.

And then there is a contrast

However, there is a refreshing contrast within the family only. My husband's younger brother who is unmarried and works out of town visits us on weekends.

 

He is a new-thinker and often questions many family traditions. When we have family dinner he insists that I and his mother both join them. Once when it was my birthday and there were no celebrations he made sure that my husband orders a cake.

That was the first time that I ever cut a cake for my birthday. Sometimes when he is here he also tells my husband to take me for a drive or a dinner.

Something that my husband never ever does on his own. Now, let me make it clear that there is nothing remotely romantic about all his gestures. He just does all this because he genuinely feels that as a wife, I may not be getting the attention I deserve.

I look forward to his visits

But I can't help and look forward to his weekly visits. Honestly, there is nothing shameful about the way I feel for him. I feel a certain sense of respect and awe for him.

And sometimes I do fantasize what if my husband too held the same views as his younger brother. Yes, I do feel sometimes embarrassed that I have such thoughts in my mind.

There have been times that I have fumbled while talking to him and then have gone red thinking what if he realizes that I have a sort of crush on him.

I am not even suggesting that I want anything further from him. But his presence is a bittersweet reminder of what life could have been with a man who believes in treating his wife equally.

Yes, I know that this is a wild fantasy but I sometimes I do feel secretly guilty about harbouring such thoughts.

*Name has been withheld on request

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