Planning when to start a family is one of the most prudent things a couple could do; waiting gives them time and perspective to really know what it is they want and how they could go about getting it.
Such was the framework with which one woman—whose name she chose not to disclose—operates. In her story she posted on forum Reddit, the 27-year-old says that waiting for the right time to start a family has always been her and her husband’s plan.
They have been married for two years, and until recently the right time hasn’t come.
“A few months ago my husband got a big promotion and we just decided to start trying for a baby,” she explains.
“It was something that just happened. My husband asked me how I would feel if we got pregnant this year instead of two years from now, and I guess we both got caught up in the moment and decided to go for it.”
It didn’t take any time at all before they found themselves pregnant, and both of them were pleased with the news.
But soon her husband’s behavior changed; he grew increasingly irate and erratic.
When she pressed him about what was really bothering him, he said that it was about work. Then one morning she found him crying at the kitchen.
Finally, he confessed that he thinks they were “too young” and that they were making a mistake.
“He begged me to consider aborting our baby and going back to our original plan of waiting 2 more years.”
The 27-year-old doesn’t want to terminate the pregnancy, but she fears what carrying the baby will mean for her relationship.
“It's just hard for me to feel anything loving for him right now…I just don't understand why he wouldn't want a child we created together on purpose,” she says. “Maybe he just doesn't want to be a father? I would love reassurance that everything will be fine, but I would rather have the truth.”
Meanwhile, other members on the forum offered their two cents.
“It could be passing panic, it could be a deeper problem,” one says, "but either way, it's leading him to say things and behave in ways that are hurting you.”
Another user said that there’s never a good time for big, life-changing events, and more waiting won’t make either of them more ready.
But the recurring theme of all the suggestions is for the woman to trust her gut and do what she thinks is best for her.
“I can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through something like that when you actually wanted to keep it,” one user says. “I think if you want to keep it, you should. At the end of the day it is your body, your baby, and your decision.”
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