How new parents can handle criticism positively?
Watch full episode to know why it is important to get rid of that guilt and reassure yourself that you're doing a fabulous job.
Being a mum, you will never find yourself alone. Apart from your little bundle of joy, you will be surrounded by a lot of people. Whether it is your mother, mother-in-law, paediatrician, nanny or a community of mothers, you will find yourself leaning on many people for advice. But this advice comes with a flip-side that includes unsolicited advice and judgement. So, how to handle parenting criticism in a constructive way?
On this episode of Nine Months Season 2 psychologist Deepali Ajinkya and comedian Anu Menon talk about how to handle parenting criticism in a constructive way. Take a look.
With so much advice available to new mums, its quite natural for them to feel overwhelmed. That makes them strive to be the perfect mother according to the standards of others. But that may not always happen because every baby is different and will respond to the same situation differently. This might make mums feel like they are bad mothers and lead to guilt. It’s much more common than you think. There are many trigger points for a mother to feel bad about herself.
The ‘Lola Kutty’ fame comedian, Anu Menon, shares a powerful quote of Ali Wong that says: It takes very little for a woman to be considered a bad mother and for a man to be considered a good father. She goes on to talk about her personal experience where she was judged for not producing enough breastmilk.
The talented mum also mentions that mothers have to master an impressive juggling act, where they want to be perfect on every front whether it is their work or their baby. But mums need to realise that it’s okay to be not perfect all the time.
The survey findings point that new mums are feeling inadequacy and guilt. Psychologist Deepali Ajinkya throws more light on how to handle this.
She says that for around 14 days after delivery mums are mostly feeling postpartum blues. And that could be a reason for such emotions of inadequacy and guilt. She explains that mums need some reassurance. They need to understand that no one can teach them how to love their baby. It is something natural to every mum. In Dr Ajinkya’s words, “Flower blossoms, fragrance spreads. No one has to teach the flower to spread its fragrance.”
So Mum, know that you are already perfect for your baby. Watch full episode here.
There you have it all from the experts about how you can get rid of the guilt of not being good enough. Remember, there’s no right way or wrong way, but just your way. And it’s important that you trust it.
Nine Months Season 2 is India’s first comprehensive show on parenting and pregnancy.