Exclusive: Parenting is a hideous form of torture, says funny man Cyrus Broacha

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In an exclusive interview to TheIndusparent, funny man Cyrus Broacha, gives us a sneak peek into his 'multitasking skills' and his quirky parenting style

Funny man Cyrus Broacha wears many hats. He is a television anchor, video jockey, theatre personality, comedian, political satirist, columnist, podcaster, and an author. But if you thought he is just the quintessential Grandmaster of Giggles, think again. He can be quite a cerebral charmer.

In an exclusive interview to TheIndusparent, 'family man' Broacha, who married photographer Ayesha Broacha, in 2001, gives us a sneak peek into his 'multitasking skills' and his quirky parenting style.

(PS: You are advised to take all of this with a pinch of salt!)

On Parenting: It’s a hideous form of torture, especially, if am left alone to handle it. Because by nature, I have shared responsibility for the past 44-years, successfully. I am the kind of guy who if asked to be the monitor of the class would return the post immediately. Without sounding too egotistical, I don’t wear long pants, I don’t have any money on me at any point. I just started using the phone a few years ago because of the children’s pick up and drops. Honestly, I try to live like a cave man.

In fact, my father and mother still give me money, I don’t operate the ATM, I don’t even know how much money I have in my account. I don’t even know how much I make per month. My entire lifestyle is non-responsibility based. And it’s allowed me to live stress-free and I really enjoy it.

I think some of the important government members follow the same path.

But honestly, parenting is a very stressfull thing for me personally. However, sadly when you have midgets in the house, those who are growing, sometimes, it’s also very challenging. But I‘ve done a very simple thing. I allow the children to lead.

Yesterday, my wife was in Alibaug, so I asked them if they wanted to sleep or not, so they said we want to watch TV, and I was absolutely fine with it. They watched TV well past the appointed hour and I slept. So I felt really good in the morning, and am heading out to do my podcast, but I don't know what shape my kids are in. As I said, I am sharing this responsibility.

On Marriage: Try not to pay attention to the concept of marriage. It’s like a parliamentary system, where both houses are my wife, Ayesha, and I am the Anglo-Indian community, just sitting quietly. But you know what, I am happy with this parliamentary system where she tells me what to do. I think people should play to their strengths and marriage as always, I believe is a work in progress.

Also, marriage should follow the same democratic system. After four or five years, a new government should be voted in and people should not be so clinical about it. I am very clear about this concept.

On Raising The Children: I tell my children to look for other role models. They anyway give me very little respect and barely acknowledge my presence and it works just fine. Surprisingly, they are well-behaved outside the house, but inside they really don’t care (about their behaviour).

It’s very much like how we Indians usually behave, we throw garbage outside the house but the minute we are in America, we are so well-behaved and pleasant. My kids are just like that.

But living with kids is certainly like living in the army, except, there is less risk in the army.

I find it worst when people ask me to take care of their kids, I have two of my own, why would I want to do that. Only if we had a choice between watching kids and plants, I would take plants, because they die quickly. Just to give you an example of my management of children, I have four TVs in the house, I make sure the kids are well occupied.

On Daily Routine: From Monday through Thursday, am dividing my time between writing and shooting for a show called The Week That Wasn’t; and working on my podcast on Wednesday. Over the weekends, I carry out my social commitments. During the evenings, I take my dog to the Oval Garden and finish domestic chores, as instructed by my wife.

In my spare time though, I do what most men in this country do- head out for manicure and pedicure.

On His Hobbies: People think I am a fat and an old chap, but they don’t believe it when I tell them that I am very much into weight-training. I love weight-training and am at the gym most of the time. Thankfully, the air conditioners at the gym work just fine and people are pleasant and nice to talk to.

On Parenting Advice: We are a population of 1.2 billion people, if you have more kids, give them to Bangladesh.

On a serious note, we talk about the urban culture and people living in the metros and how they raise kids. We shouldn’t abandon our kids so early. You should try to spend more time with them.

On The End to His Biography: It'll probably read, "Why can’t we have a five-day weekend. Two days of hard work is productive enough and we only live once. So we can’t be cribbing about how I didn’t get married for the fourth time or why I didn’t do any mountain climbing."

(Image courtesy: Twitter, Magnamags)

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