Exclusive: I am a very strict mom, says Maria Goretti
In an exclusive interview with theindusparent, Maria Goretti opens up about her kids, her marriage, family life and how she's growing every day as a mother
She is one powerful woman with many hats. A food blogger and a cook show host, an author—there is, perhaps, nothing in this world that the gorgeous Maria Goretti cannot do. And to top it all, she’ has been married to actor Arshad Warsi for 15 years now!
However, one role that she puts above everything else is that of a mother. Mother of two adorable kids, Zeke Warsi (aged 12) and Zene Zoe Warsi (aged 8), Maria Goretti says that she is a stay at home mum and she follows no rules of parenting as such.
“The truth is that you are also growing with the kids and learning a lot of things in the process. There are many things that you learn by trial and error as a mother,” she says.
In an exclusive interview with theindusparent, Maria Goretti opens up about her kids, her marriage, family life and how she’s growing every day as a mother.
Being an author, a food blogger and a cook show host, how do you maintain work-life balance and spend time with your kids?
“It is not easy and I would agree that one part of it does get disturbed as the kids don’t get you 100 per cent. It becomes tough because kids do need their parents and when you work you are not able to give that much time. But then you allot time and make sure that the time spent with them is quality time. I try to keep that in mind and maintain a balance but I do have my rough patches. It is definitely not smooth sailing all the time.”
You have two kids, a boy Zeke and a girl Zene. What is the difference between raising a body and a girl?
“It’s very very different but I think that at the core they are both little kids. Boys are a little more demonstrative when they are young and as they grow older they become a little less demonstrative. Girls, on the other hand, are very emotional and caring. They do makes cards or write a little note like my daughter does quite frequently. Girls are really, really cute.”
“My son also used to do all that, but as he’s grown older he definitely doesn’t want me to be hugging him and holding him, especially when he is outside. It’s like a big no then. My daughter is different and she likes being hugged and cuddled and we often go out and buy things together or eat out. My son hates shopping and does not even try out clothes before buying… he’d just say “they will fit”.
What are the three things that you got as a child from your mother that you tried to inculcate in your kids?
“I always wanted them to be good kids, have good manners and respect everyone around them, it does not matter who that person is… you just have to respect other human beings. I always want them to be kind and courteous and have basic manners. That for me is very, very important.”
What are the three things that they have taught you over the years?
“That I need to be more patient, that I need to be more understanding and that I need to not react immediately.”
What kind of a mother are you— do you believe in punishing your kids or are you easy to deal with?
“I am a very, very strict mom, may be I need to lighten up. I keep to my word. So if I say that I’m gonna pull you out of something if you don’t finish your homework or class project, then I do.
Though I sometimes say ‘okay, let it be’, but if I feel that it is becoming a habit and they are not taking me seriously, then I completely pull the stops. As a parent you are also growing up with the kid, and you just do your best and hope that you’re right in the process. That’s how I also learn things and take cues from them. I think I am far cooler with my daughter than I am with my son. With him it’s all trial and error.”
Read on to know more about the way Maria handles her kids and how she has managed to have a smooth marriage even after 15 years.
Another topic which is very, very disturbing and that is giving parents sleepless nights these days is child sexual abuse. Do you feel worried as a mother when you read about such news stories and how do you explain it to your kids?
“Yes I do talk to them, but I also don’t over do it because I don’t want to frighten them and worry them. So yes I do tell them that they need to be aware and they definitely need to tell another adult about it. I always tell them that Arshad and I will always be there to help them in times of crisis or need and also in times of fun.”
What are the things that you as a family like doing together, am sure you must be cooking for them?
“Yes, we all love to cook together but the one thing that we love to do together is travel. We travel a lot and if Arshad is working we join him where he is shooting, or if Arshad is not able to join us, then the kids and me just travel alone.”
What do you like cooking for them?
“Well, at home they are the ones who are cooking as they love it. In fact, now I ask them what they want to cook and go with that.
But we don’t do this very often as there is so much of school work that we have to catch up with on the weekend and most of the times I’m just shouting at them to finish their school work! I don’t like that very much but that’s how life is and I just go with it.”
Arshad and you follow different religions. How do you make sure that your kids get the best of both faiths?
“Actually, Arshad is not a very religious person, so they go to church with me. But they respect all religions. That is something that we as a family do and believe in together. So, whether it is going to a pandal during Ganpati or it is going to a Gurudwara, you need to understand that all religions are same.”
Are there any parenting rules that you swear by?
“Well, I’m a stay at home mom and I am mostly there with the kids, unless I have something that comes up out of the blue. But normally, I work out of home and so I am mostly home. And I have my parents with me so if I am going somewhere and even Arshad is not there, then they are there to look after them.”
Talking about your married life, we’re seeing so many celeb breakups happening lately. How have you managed to have a rock-solid marriage even after 15 years?
“I really don’t have an answer for that as there are no rights or wrongs. I always feel that if a couple is not happy with each other, it’s better that they separate, rather than let the children believe that an unhappy marriage is what a marriage is supposed to be. I am not someone who adheres to the fact that you have to be in a relationship even if you are not happy because how you behave with one another is exactly what your children may pick up in their future relationships.”
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“I am the kind of person who is not very traditional in this approach. If a couple does not get along and they are not very happy with each other, treat each other with disrespect and are constantly bickering, it’s best that they part ways. ”
On the personal front, you are doing a cookery show on Living foods and competed your book. So how are things looking in 2016?
“It’s really nice and I have signed up for 10 episodes as of now. I am very open to any other kind of work that may come in the fields of food, home and interiors and travel and cooking. Thses are my fields of interest. I am also promoting my book right now. But other than that I have taken a little break from my writing, which I really needed. So, at the moment I am doing ‘sweet nothing’ and enjoying the fruits of all my hard work.”
Being a mother of two kids, what is the one advice that you would like to give our readers who are first time-moms or those who are planning to have a baby?
“Firstly, do not have a kid if you don’t actually want to have a kid. That’s the most important thing you could do as a woman. Have a kid only when you really want to have one because that kid, is always going to be your baby, always your responsibility for the rest of your lives no matter how big he/she becomes. So, I just feel that for a woman it is very important to be wanting to have that kid when she does have it. That’s all I would say. It is very difficult being a mom. It’s not the easiest thing.”
“So don’t just have a kid coz you think that your body clock is ticking or the society thinks that you should have a kid or you have been married for a xx amount of years. You need to have your kids when you are absolutely ready to have them because you can’t undo this. A kid is like a tattoo on your face. Don’t have a baby unless you are absolutely sure of it and that’s the only way you can enjoy the highs and lows of motherhood.”
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