Even though I am a working bahu, my in laws feel I am useless

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Have any of you faced this? Please tell me why they behave like this and what can I do about this?

When I say I am a working bahu, all I mean is that I go out of the home and work in an office setup. Please do not be offended and think that I mean those women who stay at home do not work enough.

Believe me when I say that, as a woman, as a mother, as a bahu in an Indian family, I know what all we go through, and how much we do the entire day and night, without getting any acknowledgment in return.

I come from a simple family, and I have been married for more than 12 years. I have two children and we live with my in-laws.

My in-laws did not want me to work

The one thing that I have always been thankful for is that my parents helped me go ahead with the kind of education I wanted, and also let me work and become independent.

Once I got married, initially my in-laws did not want me to work, so I had to quit and stay home. Then I got pregnant, and with the birth of my children, I decided to stay at home and raise them and be around them all the time.

This was all going fine, but then, my in-laws again started taunting me, saying that I do nothing, I just enjoy at home, and that my husband has to work so hard to earn money for everyone.

This was not true, because, I would get up at 5 in the morning, and right from serving bed tea to my in-laws and even sister in law, I would do every household chore, including cooking, washing clothes, washing dishes and of course taking care of my children, and finally sleep only after midnight.

Even though I am a working bahu, my in laws feel I am useless

I never complained...

But when they kept saying in front of everyone that I was a lazy person, I thought it was better to get back to my professional life, especially as now my children can take care of their basic needs.

I did join back last year and my employers are very happy with me. I still do most of the things at home, and before leaving I prepare the entire day’s meal, till dinner, and all my MIL or SIL have to do is make the roti or rice, that too because they like it fresh.

I also take care of my children’s homework and every other need and send them to school before going to work.

But now my in-laws taunt me, saying I use the work excuse to stay out of the house, and that I do not care for my children. My husband never says anything, and now I am absolutely confused about how I can ever have some peace and happiness.

Has any of you faced this? Please tell me why they behave like this and what can I do about this? I am happy otherwise with my children and work, and sometimes I feel I should just take them and leave. Will that be a good decision?

Read: "I live in a joint family with my in-laws, but now I want to move out."

Written by

theIndusparent