"Don’t worry, your child will study, eat and grow up one day"

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Tasneem Sastry's hilarious take on parenting is something you can relate to.

Earth is largely dominated by water and maybe that’s why we’re in a fluid state when it comes to matters of the mind. We live in interesting times. Opinions are planted faster than trees. The freedom to express is mightier than the freedom to be.

One such style and being that’s exposed to maximum scrutiny is parenting and mothers. No, I didn’t mean single mothers, I meant singularly mothers.

Most couple lives are divided in three phases: pre-launch, launch, sustenance. This strategy is chalked down by society. No one knows who society is and the number of people that form it. It’s a convenient threat group to force a decision or opinion.

The honeymoon period

So, pre-launch is ideally honeymoon period, chill, have fun and make most of it because you cannot do so for all your life. How can you be so mundane? What change are you going to bring in? You are married for heaven’s sake, this is it. Limited Period.

child

Launch is your move towards parenthood, Robin Hood state. Valour and pride. The trumpets have started. It’s a wonderful phase for those who have chosen it at their time and comfort. It can be most fulfilling and a bond that’s magical. Then comes the audience that’s supposed to be an appropriate TG for parenthood, whether you want to be or not. To be or to not be, there’s no choice for thee.

Sustenance is probably your life. Once you’ve got over the candy floss parenthood photos, name picking and sweet spreading, reality kicks in. I am not a feminist but an equalist and hence I don’t preconceive a man or woman’s role in parenting. Times are changing but we’re largely mother centric when it comes to principal parenting responsibility.

Moulding the clay

She has her share of postpartum depression and I think some of it must do with raising another human being. Clay dough moulding, you can remould it in the early years and maybe later too but it requires enough water and comfortable attention so that it doesn’t dry up. I don’t think mothers know the balancing act even though they are walking a tight rope daily.

Read about a mother's daily stress report on the next page!

You won’t know anything that you’re not comfortable with, basic theory. From the day of birth to toddler years to teenage life and pre-adulthood. Know it all, you don’t have a choice. Be a noble parent who is faster in data churning than google.

Mother’s DSR – Daily Stress Report:

  1. Prep your child and dress them cute.
  2. Be kind and patient through it all, don’t howl, scowl or scream.
  3. Don’t throw tantrums, you never know who it hurts.
  4. Be an alert parent, you’re guarding the border.
  5. Watch out for any signs of behavioural patterns, you cannot ignore an emotion.
  6. Why is your child so weak, aren’t you feeding him/her on timely basis?
  7. If you’re well stuffed and your kid isn’t as per a food obsessed woman, then its judgement day.
  8. Teach, repeat, teach repeat, teach your child the value of money. It doesn’t matter if they’ve just started learning numbers and seen you and your husband go berserk pampering him/her.
  9. Manners, manners and be kind. Your child must behave in front of guests and strangers only.
  10. Of course, you can rest, eat and have your ‘me’ time. Offer lasts till stocks!

Life’s DSR – Daily Screen Report:

  1. Your child is your joy and pride but still doesn’t qualify as a showpiece or Facebook/Instagram post. If only kids had suing rights for the sheer invasion of their privacy. Yes, it’s a personal choice. A personal choice for a baby or toddler too.
  2. Parenting isn’t about launching a missile. Everyone around you doesn’t need to know and children learn everything that’s not taught.
  3. Don’t worry, your child will study, eat and grow up one day. Don’t lead their lives, yours is still waiting to be lived.

Life doesn’t say much. We think more than life may have planned for us thus sometimes the hurdles. You see life has halted in all the confusion when you’re moving at a parental speed of 120 KPH. It’s already tough being you, imagine being another you.

Tasneem Sastry is Creative Brand Solutions and Business Strategy at Ventes Avenues in Mumbai. The views expressed in the article are the author's alone and theindusparent does not necessarily endorse it.

Also Read: Why I let my daughters fight it out and sort their matters themselves

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