“The day I became friends with my mother-in-law”
She was there by my side that night again, ready to sacrifice her sleep to make sure I (her daughter-in-law) get some much-needed rest and some shut-eye.
“Tu so jaa, main sula detee hoon chhutki ko,” I heard a faint voice coming from behind my back as I was vigourously rocking my one-month old baby girl to sleep at three o’ clock in the night.
It was the voice of my mother-in-law. She was there by my side that night again, ready to sacrifice her sleep and everything to make sure I (her daughter-in-law) get some much-needed rest and shut-eye. And this was her 25th night of being awake with me. She had been there with me, day in and day out ever since my daughter was born, and would pitch in whenever she can just to make my life a little easier.
That night as she took my baby from my hands and started peacefully singing her a lori, for the first time I saw a woman that was a woman like me and one that worried about me. A woman that I always had a problem with. A woman who we’re taught to be careful of from the day we get married.
Yes, she was my mother-in-law and not my mother, but she was there for me when I needed her the most. At the time when I was entering a new phase of life myself and needed all the support in the world.
We all grow up with stereotypes and at no cost are we willing to change the way we look at someone or something. That day I wondered why we are so "anti" our mother-in-law from day one? Why do we oppose each and every thing/act she does? Why aren't we willing to change the way we look at her and the relationship that we share?
As these thoughts occupied my mind, I made a resolve to never ever do the following things just to prove my superiority and put her down:
1.I would never have preconceived notions about my mother-in-law
I resolved that from now on I would never be judgemental of the things she says or does and would always try to get a balanced approach before I make any decision or say anything curt to her. Every move of hers need not be wrong. She might have some good intent while saying somethings.
2. I would never stop her from being a dadi and taking care of her grandkids
Every mother of a grown-up son wishes to spend time with her grandkids and as a mother myself, I resolved that I would never stop her from spending time with the, feeding them, cradling them or just spoiling them silly.
Continue reading to know what other resolves I made that day!
As new mothers we become quite rigid and tend to scrutinise each and every thing that our child does. Believe me, it's not good for the child and neither is it for you.
3. I would let her spend as much time as she wants with her son
The moment we see our mothers-in-law with her son, we assume that there's some khichdi that is being cooked there. But the truth is they might just be having a good laugh over something they just discussed. After all they are a mother and son.
4. I will let her rule the kitchen sometimes
My mother-in-law loves to be in the kitchen and make dishes for the whole family. And while I was not open to the idea of her taking over my kitchen, I resolved I would sometimes let her cook what she wants to for her son and family. Doesn't every mother loves to do that? And if it makes her happy for sometime, then why not!
5. I would give her the same respect as my mother
While I never really showed disrespect to my mother-in-law even before, that day I swore that I would always respect her as my mother and treat her the same way. All said and done, she's also a mother and a little respect and courtesy would do no harm.
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