Actor Aamir Khan maybe a perfectionist in his work as an actor, producer, director and even as a philanthropist, but he doesn't claim to be one when it comes to his parenting skills.
The Dangal actor who recently celebrated his 52nd birthday with the media revealed his rather candid and surprising traits as a father. He also openly discussed his family and his three children; sons Junaid and Azad as well as daughter Ira.
Talking about becoming a third-time father, Khan shared that his experience each time has been different.
"When it's your first child you're nervous"
"The first child gets the most attention. When it's your first child, you're nervous, you're extra cautious, extra involved. When Junaid was born in 1993 I shot only for 36 days that year. For 328 days I was with him. That excitement, that nervousness wasn't there with Ira nor with Azad," he reportedly shared.
Khan added that while he was cautious with Junaid when it came to his daughter and youngest son Azad he often thought, "Haan theekh hai ro raha hai, roney do (Yeah, okay. He is crying let him cry). With the first child it's arrey roh raha hai, kya hogaya (He is crying? What happened?)."
Naturally, this relaxed attitude during the birth of his second and third child made him more confident as a father, but not so much hands-on.
"I was not such a hands-on father"
"Also, I've to admit I'm not someone who's fully there mentally most of the time. Kiran is a hands-on mother. Reena was also a hands-on mother. I was not such a hands-on father except for Junaid during that first one year," he shared during the cake cutting ceremony.
He also explained why he thought he couldn't consider himself hands-on even though he is seen taking care of his kids when he is out and about.
"Hands-on is when you're sharing equal responsibilities with your partner in bringing up the child. Honestly, I'm not sharing that. I'm afraid I'm a self-obsessed person. Self-obsessed means I'm more in my work, in my own world. And I'm more excited about the things I'm doing, the world that I'm in. You can give it a fancy word but the bottom line is that I'm obsessed with my own life," he explained.
Interestingly, this is not the first time he has stated this. In 2013, right before son Azad's second birthday he shared that he wasn't hands-on.
"I am not a hands-on father. But I am also a good father. The problem with me is that I am very self-centered and I get involved with my work extensively. However, whenever I get time, I narrate stories to Azad. He will be turning two on December and though we will be celebrating his birthday, we have not yet planned anything about it," he shared with Deccan Chronicle at the time.
And while it does look like he may be hands-on but is being modest about it, it's the one thing that all new mums expect their partners to do- be around to care for the newborn.
There are many ways in which new fathers can help new mums and not overrate the act it as being 'hands-on' is certainly one of the many.
3 ways in which partners must help new mums
- You are a co-parent: The tide may have changed in favour of new urban mums, but most Indian dads still feel that it is the job of the mother to take care of the baby. However, it must not be forgotten that it is also their own child and that they are co-parenting. It is equal responsibility of both parents to contribute towards child rearing.
- You bond with the baby: Although breastfeeding brings the mother much closer to the baby, early days of interaction with the father helps the child feel secure as well. Plus, you get to spend memorable time with your baby during the days when he may just have started to recognise you.
- You help your wife: Being a new parent can be an overwhelming experience and needs both partners to work together as a team. By helping your wife during night feeds and in helping set a sleeping pattern of the baby, you contribute in lessening your wife's burden.
Read: Actor and father Aamir Khan will not help his kids for THIS unique reason
If you have any insights, questions or comments regarding the article, please share them in our Comment box below. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Google+ and Twitter to stay up-to-date on the latest from theIndusparent.com
[All images courtesy: Instagram]
