It’s a Monday morning and I am up early as my husband told me to wake him up for an early morning travel for his business. I am preparing breakfast but my cheeks are still hurting from the slaps he showered on me last night.
Yes, that’s the truth of my marriage. My husband has no control over his anger and at least once in a month when we have a serious argument over something he ends up beating me up.
Next morning, he comes to me apologetic saying that he feels more upset but I should try not to provoke him as he loses temper.
This is one of the most insulting treatments that can be meted out to a wife I realize it. You would wonder why am I putting up with it, well, I often ask this question to myself too.
He is otherwise loving towards me…
When I got married two years ago my parents did everything that they could have done to find a suitable match for me. After years of matrimonial searches, possible eligible boys suggested by friends and family somehow nothing was working out. I am an average looking, graduate from a small town.
I am an average looking, graduate from a small town. Honestly, there is nothing extraordinary about me and in the marriage market, it seemed that my ordinariness pushed me to the fringe of extras and no one ever really took interest in our family.
Until one of my mum’s aunts suggested this boy from a rich business man family who were settled in the biggest city in our state. His parents selected me when they came to meet me and as odd as it sounds he never came to meet me.
I was amused but happy that at least I have finally being selected in the marriage market. We got married and my parents tried everything in their ability to arrange the ceremony that could somehow match my in laws’ stature.
We failed but apart from minor grudges about things here and there everything remained peaceful. My husband was nice and loving from the first day of our marriage. He took me out for holidays; spent time with me. Life was good. Until our first serious fight…
That day I saw his real temper
His family members would often joke with me that how my husband is very hot headed but I took everything with a pinch of salt. We would have arguments and he was always more overpowering and won’t agree even when he was wrong but I was warned and tried to live with it.
One day there was some altercation about us going on a holiday to his sisters’ place. I tried to reason with him that his older sister was very strict with protocols and how I never feel relaxed in her company. We argued until I began telling him how being the youngest in the family he has been always subjugated and that’s why he can’t see what I am saying.
The moment I uttered this there was a volley of slaps that greeted me. I was stunned. I had never known this kind of abuse before. I spent the night sobbing. Next morning he came with tea and a sorry face. I forgave him not realizing that the episode will not be the only one.
Almost every one or two months whenever we differ with each other on a big issue he hits me. The reasons have ranged from in laws, to bank balance to my parents' visit to my mindless shopping. The reason why I haven’t ended my two-year-old marriage is that once that episode is over he is a normal man. He is gentle, loving and even apologetic.
There are times when I have tried to reason it out with him, threatened to leave the house, told him I won't start a family until he controls his anger. Each time he promises that it won’t happen again until it actually does happen again.
My dear ladies, please tell me if it is okay to divorce a man whose only flaw is that he raises a hand on me? Will I be happy if I walk out?
*The author's name has been withheld on request
(Story as told to Zofeen Maqsood)
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