6 questions Indian parents should STOP asking their toddlers now!
Asking the same questions, again and again and again, pressurizes them to come up with an answer every time and somewhere down the line that answer stays with them for long.
Just yesterday, my friend told me that she has enrolled her three-year-old for a popular phonetics class in the neighbourhood. When I asked her if her daughter was really into phonetics she said, "it does not matter whether she likes it or not. I feel it is important for her and she would learn the basics."
While I didn't agree with her, I realised this is something all of us parents do, at some point or the other. Let's admit it. Indian parents like to compare, force opinions and push our kids to do something we want them to do. And this attitude is right from the start when the little ones are too lost in their own world to understand the logic behind everything.
Moreover, we often forget that our kids watch everything we do and emulate us. Asking the same questions, again and again and again, pressurizes them to come up with an answer every time and somewhere down the line that answer stays with them for long. They start doing things that you want them to do and, in this all, lose their own voice and individuality.
Here are a few questions that we should stop asking our kids:
1.What do you want to become when you grow up?
This is a question that all of us are guilty of asking our kids and it's not that the question is wrong, but the answer that the child gives because it might generate a certain response from you. And, trust me, a lot depends on that one response. For example, if your child says that he wants to become a model or an actress, you'd have a negative reaction and you would say no or perhaps even scold him.
But, if he says that he wants to become a doctor or an engineer or something else that you want him to be, you would jump with joy. This just creates an unnecessary pressure on the child to come up with an answer of your choice and confuses him. This would stop him from exploring his options and discovering what he wants to actually do. Down the line, he might even prepare himself to choose a profession that you like and not something he's passionate about.
2. Who do you love more?
How many times have you asked this question to your little toddler: "Who do you love more? Mommy or daddy? dadaji or nanaji, bua or mausi? The options are endless, but the question itself creates a bias in the mind of the child and he would again come up with an answer to please you, which means he is not speaking his mind and you are the one who is stopping him from doing that.
Moreover, why do you want your child to choose between mumma and daddy? Don't you want your child to love you both equally? As far as others are concerned, kids should be taught to treat everyone as equal and love them irrespective of your equation with them. Don't you agree?
3. Why can't you behave like your friend?
We often forget that we are the ones who are shaping our child's personality. Asking him such a question would mean that he should become like someone else and lose his own individuality.
I know I am talking about the future and you might say that there are many other things that shape up a child's personality, but don't forget that the bricks for the child's future are laid today and not when he is an adult.
4. Why don't you finish your lunch quickly?
On one hand, we mothers complain that our kids are not eating properly and on the other hand we ask them to finish their meals quickly. Give your child his own sweet time to finish his meals and also remember that not every one is a fast eater. Also, let your child enjoy his food for once.
5. Why don't you hurry up?
I know... I know it's a story that we're all familiar with and go through almost every day. We're running late to reach office on time, or in a hurry to meet the deadline or just worried we might miss that 8:35 train. But, in all this madness we forget that our little ones have their own sweet world and they are in no hurry at all. For them the world is slow and easy.
In that case, won't it be a better idea to start things early and, may be, give your child an extra 10 minutes to finish what he's doing? Remember, they are just kids and let them enjoy each and every moment of their childhood.
6. Why don't you choose this?
So you want your girl to wear the new dress you bought from the shopping center, but she chooses her favourtie pair of jeans and T-shirt. What do you do? You somehow convince her that the choice she has made is not right and once again curb her freedom of choice and not let her do what she wants to do.
Are there any other questions that we can add to the list? Tell us!
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