Coping with a miscarriage can be both emotionally and physically draining for the expectant parents and the family. The psychology of parents, especially the mother takes her through several phases of shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression and finally acceptance. But it takes a while before she reaches the last stage.
Dr Hozefa Bhinderwala, consultant psychiatrist, Global Hospital, Mumbai, says, “During the first phase, the mother goes through serial denial. She will question her fate or try to understand why she went through this loss. During the second stage, she will feel anger towards herself, the husband or possibly the family. This is followed by a constant feeling of guilt of losing the unborn child and depression. If the mother is taken for counselling and is given constant support by her family during this third phase, she can come to accept her situation.”
Dr Smriti Sawhney Joshi, specialist pregnancy clinical psychologist at ePsyClinic.com, Delhi, further explains, “Miscarriage or pregnancy loss is a huge loss to the expectant mother and father. Even though the mother experiences it physically and emotionally, it is equally disturbing for the expectant father too. Yet, it’s the family’s emotional and physical support and comfort to the grieving mother which will help her deal with this traumatic phase more effectively.”
A miscarriage takes the mother through phases of shock, denial, anger, guilt, depression and finally acceptance
Dr Joshi says that the spouse will be the first one to notice any serious emotional disturbances resulting from experiencing the grief associated with pregnancy loss. “They should, therefore, also make efforts for early intervention for these emotional disturbances lest they become unmanageable and more severe in nature.”
Continue reading to know the ways to cope with a pregnancy loss
Spousal and family support to a mother who recently suffered miscarriage can help her recover emotionally and physically
Ways to cope with a pregnancy loss
Any family that goes through a miscarriage needs to heal emotionally as well as physically. Dr Ritambhra Bhalla, consultant, obstetrics and gynaecology, Fortis Hospital, Mohali, lists four golden rules for expectant mothers to cope with a miscarriage.
- Relax and de-stress with activities that you enjoy: After the loss, the expectant mother could feel lonely and retract herself from any physical activity. In such a case, she must be encouraged to relax her mind by employing physical activities such as exercising, painting, dance or any such activity that she may enjoy. This will keep her mind off the loss and she can recover to her usual self, both physically as well as psychologically.
- Meditate and practice yoga on a daily basis: Meditation and practicing yoga have been proved to be extremely beneficial during a miscarriage. Practicing both on a daily basis can increase blood flow and reduces anxiety attacks.
- Have multivitamins, vitamin-D3 and folic acid in case of hormonal changes: The mother can start consuming multivitamins based on doctor’s prescription post the loss. The doctors also recommend 5mg folic acid, three months before trying for another conception.
- Wait for at least three months before planning the next pregnancy: Most experts recommend that couples should wait for a minimum of three months before they try for another baby. This cooling-off period gives the mother’s body strength to be ready for another pregnancy, both physically and mentally.
“The expectant mother needs to heal emotionally and physically. In order to regain the same physical state, she must eat healthy, exercise or seek counselling, if need be,” says Dr Bhalla.
Pregnancy loss is a very disabling loss, which may even bring the lives of those experiencing it to a complete standstill. Dr Joshi advises, “The most important thing that the family can do to help the expectant parents and especially the mother, is to cheer her up. In addition, spend quality time with the parents and be alert for any signs of serious emotional disturbances.”
As an expectant parent, if you have recently gone through pregnancy loss then make sure that your partner feels supported and attended to by friends and family.
If you have any more questions regarding coping with loss of a pregnancy, please ask in our Comment box below.
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