I am 34 and a mum, but I refuse to grow up!
I have decided that I am not going to do certain things just because the society expects me to.
Whenever I attend social events, I always meet one or two aunties who are more interested in the fact that I am not wearing sindoor or bangles, then in my happiness and well-being.
While “you don’t look like you’re married” was the usual statement that I used to hear earlier, now it’s come to “you don’t behave like a mother?”.
I don’t even know why everyone expects you to look married after you tie the knot. And once you have kids you are expected to behave in a certain “mature” way and be more like an adult in front of your kids.
Why? Why can’t we be carefree in front of our kids? Why can’t we dress the way we want to irrespective of our marital status and age?
For once and for all, I want to set the record straight and tell you that I am not going to do these things just because the society expects me to:
1. I refuse to look like a "married woman"
The other day when we had dressed up for a Diwali pooja, one aunty was quick to point out that my neck had to necklace, which is not how it should be considering that I am a married woman. "Gala khaalee kyun rakha hai," she pointed out.
It's annoying to hear that all the time. Why should you look married all the time? This is why I have decided that I will not wear sindoor or bangles and other such objects just to prove my marital status. If I ever wear them, it would be for the love that I have for my husband or when I want to dress up!
2. I refuse to behave like an adult all the time in front of my daughter
Of course, there are moments when I have to be in control and a little strict with my daughter, but 60 percent of the times I love to go silly with her and do things that invoke the child in me, whether it is rolling in the bed with her in my arms, play hide and seek with her or animatedly read her favourite stories to her.
I don’t really understand the concept of behaving well in front of your kids. If I feel like running around in the park with my daughter, I would not hesitate even once before doing that.
Why can’t we like kids with our kids? Won’t it be wonderful to live your childhood again with your kids? I’m never letting go of that opportunity. Would you?
Continue reading on the next page to know about other things that I don't want to follow!
3. I would wear what I want to
I love experimenting with clothes and wear anything and everything from a saree, to shorts, to dresses and the likes. While a couple of people had a problem with it earlier, now they have understood that your dressing on the outside doesn’t matter, what matters is how you are from inside. I am teaching that to my daughter too.
4.I would always dance like no one’s watching me.
Yes, I do that even though there have been instances in the past where my in-laws and other relatives had a problem with my uninhibited dancing. But, seriously I love dancing so much that I don’t listen. Seriously!
5. I would not behave my age all the time!
Never! Please don’t ever expect me to sit in one corner and gossip about my neighbors or other women of my society. Neither do I like discussing makeup, dresses, and recipes; honestly, I don’t.
6. I would not spend half my day in the kitchen
I know, I know how can an Indian woman not be interested in cooking. While i can cook a scrumptious meal in minutes, I don't want to do that half the day. It's time that we women realise that there's more to life than spending the whole day in the kitchen and cooking something that gets over in minutes and then you start cooking for the next meal.
7. I would not blindly follow traditions and rituals
This Diwali, I got my period on the day of Lakshmi Poojan, but I still went ahead with the pooja and customary rituals as I have never understood the concept of not entering a pooja sthaan if you're menstruating.
Neither is there a scientific explanation for it. It's time women take the lead and stop following traditions blindly for the sake of their kids. Don't you think so?
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