While getting married is certainly one of the happiest moments in life it also brings along its share of adjustments. After all it's not without reason that they say that in-laws’ place is not all that bed of roses.
So amongst those compliments about how you are the prettiest bride ever, a new bride also invariably has to listen to a few more not-so-welcoming comments.
While these comments are often passed off warped as ‘well-meaning advice,’ more often than not they are insensitive and hurtful. Not to add they also are meant to tell you that you are not the one who calls the shots in your new household.
Whether you laugh them off or shed a silent tear or two on being subjected to these. But chances are we all have at some point or the other heard these statements from our ‘new’ family and have felt helpless.
Here are three things that almost every new bride has to listen to once she’s in her in-law's house.
1."Ab Yeh Hee Tumhara Ghar Hai”
Usually told by the mother-in-law, this comment is perhaps as old as the Indian marriage system itself! While it could otherwise be a welcoming statement, I have a problem with its underlying connotation. It usually comes off as a reminder to the new bride that she needs to sever her ties with her maternal home now.
It is almost as if to stress that a girl should quickly forget the strong bond she had with her parents and prioritize her husband’s home over everything else.
While we all too want to make it our own home and that’s why we chose to marry your son but dear mum-in-law, haven’t you heard that a house becomes home for someone when they get the same love there? We are open to receiving that love and giving it back doubly. Only if you stop commanding us already!
2.“Hamare Yahaan Aisa Nahi Hota”
Well, my favorite reply to this would be, ‘hamare yahaan bhi aisa nahi hota,’ but well as a new bride, you have to often grin and bear it. While it’s true that customs and traditions vary from one household to another, why do some in-laws take it as an ego issue and ensure ONLY their traditions are followed.
Wouldn’t it be a lot more interesting to know how the brides’ side of the family lives and celebrates? May be there will be a thing or two that you may like better in our traditions. Only if you care to find out!
3.“Ab Jaldi Khush Khabri De Do”
Like really, how soon? May be say tonight? We aren’t too sure though if you will be pleased to know that we decided to bring the good news along with us already! Jokes aside, it is only insensitive to remark this to a new bride who is any way overwhelmed with emotions.
By saying this you are reducing the sacrifice she’s already made to leave her family and come to live with your son and his family and reminding her that her role is only to produce babies; more so, when it is hardly the time to jump that horse. Also, why are men exempted from being asked the same? After all, everyone knows that bringing a baby requires participation from both sides!
Read: SC: Daughters-in-law should be treated like family members, not housemaids
[Image courtesy: pixabay]
